You want to know exactly where you and your spouse stand financially.

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There comes a time in almost every marriage when certain issues put the relationship to the test. The pressure of finances, family, or work can cause even the closest couples to drift apart. From time to time, the distance between the individuals becomes so big that it leads to the decision to end the marriage. 

If currently, this is happening to you, you are not alone. Divorce demands a price, not just a financial one but in all aspects of life. Building a long-lasting marriage is a lifelong endeavor. It takes sacrifice, hard work, and commitment every day, and sometimes if it doesn’t work, it needs to come to an end for the best of both parties. 

When the lack of communication, strained finances, imbalance of work, mistrust, and hurt start to slowly cause damage to your marriage, it takes more than one person to restore the marriage successfully. Unfortunately, some marriages must come to an end. Once you know for sure that divorce is what you want, it is easier to work toward that decision.

Keep reading to find out exactly what to do before you file for a divorce.

1. Hire a Good Family Law Attorney

It is less expensive and easier if you and your spouse can settle your matters without litigation, so make sure you have a good family law attorney who is capable of litigating your case. You are looking for a lawyer who can settle the matter quickly and who will fight for you if tension arises. Before hiring a lawyer, always interview at least three of them to find the right one for you. Choose the one who has around 10 years of experience in practicing family and divorce law for the best results.

2. Organize Your Finances

You want to know exactly where you and your spouse stand financially. The primary purpose of the divorce is equitable distribution of marital assets and debts. In order for you to get the share that you deserve, it is important to understand all of your finances.

Determine what you own. Sometimes, this is obvious. Marital assets like a house, vehicles, and financial accounts should be split equally. Other marital assets are not so easy to work with such as pension plans, inheritances, artwork, and belongings brought into the marriage.

Determine what you owe. Any owed money should be split based on which of the spouses is financially more able to pay the debt, it does not matter whose name the debts are in. To determine your marital debt, get a copy of your credit report.

3. Credit In Your Own Name

   

Another important thing to do before the divorce is to establish credit in your own name. After the divorce, it will be difficult for you to purchase a car or a home because you would have shared credit with your spouse. This is why it is important to have your own credit. If you do not have credit to your name already, right this before you file for the divorce. It is actually pretty simple, just obtain a credit card that is only in your name and start building a credit history.

4. Proof of Income

You will need documentation that shows you and your spouse’s income. If both of you are salaried employees, you will need a copy of the recent pay stubs and of the income tax returns. 

Determining an income may be a challenging task if both of you are self-employed. In this case, financial business statements and bank account statements will give a better picture of the income. Before filing for the divorce, make copies of these statements. Try to gather as much as you can, and when it comes to the rest, your lawyer will help you.

5. Joint Financial Accounts

It is common that after one party learns about the forthcoming divorce they will raid financial accounts. Most of the time it is done in anger or on the advice of the divorce attorney. Whatever it may be, you need to protect yourself and not let your spouse clean out the joint financial accounts you have together.

Protect yourself by opening financial accounts only in your name. Remove half of the funds from the joint financial account, and deposit them into your new account. Don’t worry, you do not have to hide this action but don’t spend the money recklessly. Document every dollar you have spent, that way it will be accounted for during the settlement negotiations.

The Bottom Line

Gathering all the necessary information and documentation may seem impossible. This process takes time, and you just need to take it one step at a time. You don’t have to navigate the divorce by yourself. Hire professionals like mediators and experienced family law attorneys who can get you through this process smoothly, and with a satisfying outcome for both parties.

As you go through your divorce, you will likely have to make many decisions regarding taxes. It may not even be apparent that taxes are a factor or something to be considered when you are thinking through your options. But, there are reasons there is an entire tax profession and over 60,000 pages of tax code – taxes are expensive and confusing!

It is unequivocally important to understand the basics so that you can make informed decisions and optimize your settlement.

That being said, do not feel like you are on an island. There are many professionals who can guide you every step of the way. Similar to having an attorney to help you through your divorce, financial planners and accountants should be part of your empowerment team to ensure you maximize your post-divorce assets and cash flow on an after-tax basis.

Here are a few of the most common initial questions, consider this Divorce Taxes 101.

Are taxes owed on a divorce settlement?

Transferring assets between spouses because of a divorce does not generally result in a tax consequence.

Should I file jointly or separately?

Your marital status on December 31^st determines your filing status that year. Couples sometimes wait until January to finalize the divorce to reduce taxes owed for the preceding year. This works whether you’re filing jointly or married filing separately for that year.

What is Head of Household filing status?

To claim head of household status, you must be legally single, pay more than half of the household expenses, and have either a qualified dependent living with you for at least half the year or a parent for whom you pay more than half their living expenses.

What are the tax differences to consider when dividing qualified/retirement 401(k) and IRA accounts versus non-qualified/after-tax joint or individual assets?

Ordinary income rates apply when funds are withdrawn from a qualified/retirement plan. Keep in mind there is likely an additional 10% penalty if funds are withdrawn when the individual is under age 59.5.

Capital gains rates apply on withdrawals from non-qualified/after-tax accounts, which are typically less than ordinary income rates. Also, in selling positions to raise funds, one is taxed only on the gains booked, not the full withdrawal, as is the case for distributions from a qualified account.

It’s critical to understand that dividends and interest earned in an investment account, as well as capital gains distributions, are taxable in the year received. They are not taxed until withdrawn from tax-deferred accounts.

When deciding on the split of an investment account, pay attention to the cost basis (purchase price) of the securities.

Pro tip: Be sure the settlement agreement addresses who is to receive any tax refunds, loss carryforwards, or tax debt.

Bonus Pro Tip: In the last year of filing a joint return work with a CPA to determine how much each spouse owes based on their respective income. Splitting the taxes owed in half may not be reasonable. Situations where this might apply are a dual income family or when spouses have been living separately and supporting only themselves. It’s important for the CPA to be thoughtful on the division of tax refunds, penalties, deductions, and the claiming of dependents.

Types of Accounts

Not all types of accounts are equal when dividing assets among spouses. Remember when I mentioned that taxes have a role, even when it is not apparent?

Here’s an example. Let’s say you and your spouse have $1 million of net worth, $500,000 in a traditional IRA and $500,000 in a taxable account. Simply giving one spouse the retirement assets and the other the taxable assets would not be considered an equitable division because of the difference in tax treatment at withdrawal. Depending on the income of each spouse, the IRA may have ~$100,000 of embedded taxes and be worth only ~$400,000 after tax, while the taxable account may have only ~$20,000 of taxes owed and be worth ~$480,000 after-tax.

The takeaway is that it is usually more desirable to receive taxable assets in a divorce settlement versus a traditional IRA. Roth assets are the most advantageous to receive because of the tax-free treatment of withdrawals.

Taxable accounts (also known as brokerage accounts, after-tax or nonqualified accounts) are funded with dollars that have already been subject to income tax. Growth on these dollars is taxed at preferential capital gains rates of 0%, 15%, or 20%, depending on your situation.

Tax-Deferred accounts include traditional IRAs, qualified retirement accounts, pensions, 401ks, 403bs, Deferred Compensation plans, SEPs, Keoghs, and Simple plans. These accounts receive a tax deduction when money is contributed and are taxed as ordinary income rates of 10%, 12%, 22%, 24%, 32%, 35%, or 37% when money is withdrawn. These accounts are typically subject to an additional 10% tax penalty if withdrawn before age 59 ½, though there are exceptions to this.

Roth IRAs or Roth 401ks do not receive a tax deduction when money is contributed but are not taxed when money is withdrawn (assuming the withdrawal occurs after 5 years, and the account owner is over age 59 ½). These are the “best” accounts to receive from a tax perspective as all the tax was paid upfront and any growth or future withdrawals are free from Uncle Sam’s grasps.

Tax Considerations Specific to Divorce

If you’re a bit overwhelmed reading about taxes, take a deep breath and have confidence you will make smart decisions with the help of your empowerment team. Below are the essential concepts to understand about taxes and divorce. You likely know many of the following concepts.

Married Filing Joint, Married Filing Separate, Single, or Head of Household are all examples of filing status. Spouses file based on marital status as of December 31 and are both liable for everything reported or not reported on a joint return regardless of who earned the income.

A Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) is a legal document that directs the administrator of a qualified retirement plan to distribute a portion of retirement benefits to the spouse so that the transfer is not taxable. QDROs are exempt from 10% penalty on withdrawals before 59 ½. IRAs do not require a QDRO and are not exempt from the 10% penalty on early withdrawals.

Tax arbitrage is smart tax planning which maximizes the after-tax value of family assets by taking advantage of one spouse having a lower tax rate than the other spouse.

Custodial parent The IRS defines the custodial parent as the parent that has the child for more overnights. If the overnights are equal, the parent with the higher income is the custodial parent.

Form 8332 is the IRS form that releases claim to exemption for a child by the custodial parent so that the noncustodial parent can claim an exemption for the child. Although personal exemptions were eliminated in the 2017 Tax Cuts & Jobs Act, there is still benefit to claiming minor children for the child tax credit.

Basic Tax Terms and Concepts

In a large sea of tax jargon, it is helpful to have a basic understanding of some of the terms you will likely hear. This is the vocabulary you should familiarize yourself with as you discuss taxes in your divorce.

• Marginal tax Rate: This is the tax rate you would pay on one more dollar of taxable income. Typically, this is your highest tax bracket.
• Ordinary Income: Income that comes from the following sources: W-2 earnings, interest, pension income, IRA/401k withdrawals. These are taxed at the higher rates 10%, 12%, 22%, 24%, 32%, 35% or 37%.
• Long-Term Capital Gains: The tax that applies to an increase on investments held more than 12 months. In 2022, the long-term capital gains tax rates are 0%,15%, or 20%. These are typically lower than your earned income rates.
• Short-Term Capital Gains: This is tax that applies to an increase on investments held less than 12 months and are taxed at ordinary income rates.
• Capital Losses: The loss incurred when an investment has decreased in value from it’s original purchase price. Capital losses can be long term or short term depending on whether it was held for more or less than 12 months.
• Capital Losses offset Capital Gains: Means that you can use any losses that you have on an investment to offset any gains. If you don’t use all of the losses in a given year, you can carry forward these losses and use them in future tax years – this is a valuable asset to negotiate for, if available.
• Earned Income: W-2 earnings and 1099 self-employment income are subject to social security tax. Earned income is required to make IRA/401k/403b/Roth IRA/Roth 401k contributions.
• Standard Tax Deduction: A preset amount (based on filing status) and is the portion of income not subject to tax that can be used to reduce your tax bill. Taxpayers can either use the standard deduction or itemize their deductions.
• Itemized Tax Deduction: Varies by taxpayer and includes mortgage interest, medical expenses, and charitable donations. The amount for property taxes and state income taxes combined is limited to $10,000 per year.
• Mortgage Interest Deduction: Deduction on mortgage interest on the first $750,000 of a mortgage used to acquire or improve a new home. Interest on home equity loans not used to acquire or build a home is no longer deductible.
• Estimated Tax Payments: The IRS requires quarterly payments of taxes on earned income that doesn’t have taxes withheld or on investment income.

As taxes can get complicated during a divorce, it’s most important to seek the help of professionals familiar with both the legal aspects of divorce as well as tax nuances. Email our firm’s divorce practice group at thenextchapter@BDFLLC.com for further information and for a copy of our 2022 tax chart.

What is taxing you in your divorce?

Maintaining a marriage requires intentionality. Just like other relationships, if your marriage doesn’t receive the necessary time and attention, it will deteriorate.

Couples tend to enter marriages with great expectations, bringing both their own histories of hurt and unmet needs. The unspoken expectation that your partner will finally love you the way you desire is often a setup for failure.

Apathy and contempt are warning signs of divorce, and also red flags that your unhappy marriage needs your attention. And the number one predictor of divorce is conflict avoidance. So if you and your partner avoid conflict and lack the skills of conflict resolution, your marriage may be in jeopardy.

Dr. John Gottman, a marriage and family therapist, and a leading researcher on marriage has conducted studies over the span of 40 years to determine the predictors of divorce. His studies show that these six characteristics of communication predict the likelihood of divorce with 91 percent accuracy.

If the dynamics in your marriage fit these patterns, your chance of divorce is great.

RELATED: 16 Subtle Warning Signs Of Divorce Even The Smartest People Miss

The six signs your marriage is headed toward divorce:

1. You approach a conversation with conflict.

This includes sarcasm, accusations, criticism, or derogatory comments, and all are dangerous for a marriage. Initiating a conversation harshly will likely result in an acrimonious ending without resolution.

RELATED: 5 Key Reasons Why Yelling Destroys Love

2. You have what’s known as “the four horsemen.”

Gottman identifies these as contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling. His research shows a correlation between these characteristics of communication with your spouse drastically increases the likelihood to divorce.

3. You overwhelm each other with negativity.

This causes an emotional shut-down and detachment from your relationship. When you or your partner suddenly barrages the other with criticism or contempt leaving the other feeling shell-shocked, this results in disengagement and often, over time, leads to contempt.

RELATED: 8 Revealing Questions To Ask Yourself If You Think You Want A Divorce (& What To Do Next)

4. You have a physiological response to your conflicts.

When one or both partners become overwhelmed and flooded, it results in physiological changes in the body. Increased heart rate, secretion of adrenaline, and an increase in blood pressure occur, and these physiological responses preclude the ability to effectively resolve conflict.

Flooding triggers a fight or flight response, resulting in disengagement and/or stonewalling by your partner.

5. You’ve tried multiple times to solve issues.

If conflict isn’t resolved or is stonewalled by one partner, the likelihood of divorce increases. Conflict resolution is imperative in maintaining a healthy relationship. Stonewalling is the lack of willingness to engage in conversation and resolution around a conflict.

RELATED: A Simple Way To Get Rid Of (Almost) All Of Your Problems

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6. You let your conflicts rewrite your positive memories.

Couples who get stuck viewing their relationship through a negative lens end up rewriting history that’s often distorted. This extreme negative outlook impacts the historical, present, and future perception of the relationship and contributes to the demise of a marriage.

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Dick Schwartz, another leading marriage and family therapist, says that marriage is often a setup for failure from the start because of the expectation that your mate will be your “redeemer” and fulfill all your unmet needs. This expectation inevitably results in disappointment and discord. 

No partner can fulfill and redeem another. One must first learn how to lead from the self so he/she is able to connect with his/her own natural ability for caring, compassion, and courage. By identifying and working with your own hurting parts, you’re able to connect with yourself and become more “self-led.” 

The ability to be in “self-leadership” will allow you to avoid the expectation of your partner to fulfill your unmet needs and therefore remove the constant let-down you experience when your partner doesn’t. In turn, this will set the stage for resolving conflict in such a way that each partner feels heard and understood.

RELATED: 10 Brutally Honest Signs Your Marriage Is Flat-Out Over

More for You on YourTango:

Leslie Petruk is a Child & Family Therapist, Board Certified Coach, and Parenting Expert. She has worked with children, couples, and families to help them lead more connected and compassionate lives for over twenty years.

Sign up for YourTango’s free newsletter!

Sarah Catherall is a Wellington-based journalist and writer.

OPINION: Thirteen years ago this month, my husband left me. He was the one to end the marriage but, truth was, we were making each other miserable.

I became my worst self when he was in the room – I nagged, I complained, I resented many things about him. He didn’t like the person he became around me either.

We hadn’t started out like that, of course. A decade before, I had walked in a white satin dress among grapevines and married the man I was utterly in love with.

Over the following years, our lives had become too busy – work, business, three kids, house renovations – and put us under too much pressure. We had tried counseling but nothing could heal or repair the way we felt about one another.

But when he spoke those few words, “It’s over’’, I felt as though I had been in a car crash.

READ MORE:
* The Divorce Diaries: ‘It got so toxic, so fast, it was like my wife was a completely different person’
* Divorce Month: Why Kiwis are calling it quits this January
* The Divorce Diaries: ‘My daughter (and I) discovered my marriage was over when she saw her father having an affair – in our kitchen
* The Divorce Diaries: Should I stay in my marriage for the sake of our kids?

It was the worst day of my life. I couldn’t get out of bed. Everything I knew was the two of us and our small family and nothing prepared me for the grief that followed, as I lost not just us but the world we had created together: the children we had raised together, our extended families (temporarily), and some of our couple friendships.

I truly thought I would never recover. I thought that our separation and divorce was the worst thing that had ever happened to me.

Back then, I also heard these words a lot: “It’s so sad for the kids.”

But 13 years on, I can reflect that it’s actually “sadder for the kids’’ when their parents fight all the time but they stay together “for the kids’’.

Four decades of research show that 75-80% of kids whose parents divorce adjust well as long as their parents do it well.

Today, my ex and I co-parent our three daughters, who I’m proud to say are amazing young women. We get on better as friends and have both repartnered with people we love and are far more compatible with.

I don’t want to suggest it’s perfect or to advocate breaking up. Life is definitely more complicated. The ideal is to stay with the father of your kids until you die holding hands in your rocking chairs.

I talked about the social message we are sold to stick it out forever with Lady Deb Chambers, a divorce lawyer, recently. We talked about how for some couples it’s not financially viable to leave, especially with inflation and the rising cost of running two households. But Lady Deb told me she would rather be poor than be in a relationship which made her miserable. “If you’re not happy, and you’ve tried, then you need to have the courage to leave. You only have one chance at life.’’

Kimberlee Sweeney, an Auckland-based divorce coach, told me most of her clients go to her in the “should I stay or should I go phase’’. She thinks that, culturally, we are designed to pair up and also to stay in relationships, particularly if we have kids, while some unhappy couples stay together for financial reasons.

“Those are the two biggest reasons, usually, that people stay. Those relationships often can still come to an end but often once the last of the children have left home, sadly they are then much older and find themselves in a position of starting all over again, with new partners, careers and sometimes financially too,’’ she told me.

Sweeney does stress that an unhappy partner should check they really want to end it, as they can later regret breaking up and want to go back to an ex.

She helps her clients imagine the two scenarios: staying or going. “When young families are involved I check to see they have tried all they can to make it work before calling it quits.’’

Like Sweeney, I do know couples who went through a rough patch, who are now happy. All I know is that for me, when my ex said, “it’s over’’, that trauma led me on a whole new path of personal growth and discovery.

Thirteen years on, I thank him for walking away.

37/37 SLIDES

After you’ve gone through a divorce, it’s easy to envy the young people who haven’t experienced much heartbreak. Maybe you believe it would be easier to meet your soulmate with fewer heartbreaks and disappointments.

The truth is, the experience you bring to dating after you’ve been through a divorce can help you meet your soulmate and achieve lasting love.

Hopefully, you learned from your marriage and divorce and are ready to do things differently when it comes to love. You’re no longer naïve about life and love and you can choose more wisely and be more discerning through the dating process — even when it’s scary or intimidating to imagine dating again. 

RELATED: A Letter To Myself The Day I Decided To Divorce

The secret to meeting your soulmate after divorce is in using the end of your marriage as a powerful tool for learning and discovery.

Just because you didn’t get it right the first time doesn’t mean that you can’t get love right the next time.

Here are 8 reasons why dating after divorce helps you meet your soulmate.

1. Your expectations are realistic.

No one gets married thinking it won’t last. Your hope for what could be turned out not to be. You’ve come out the other side and experienced failed love. That can be a great motivator to do things differently this time.

When you’ve been married before, you’ve released the fantasy that love will just magically work out without any effort. You’ve figured out that your partner doesn’t come with mind-reading powers — and meeting your soulmate won’t change that.

This is a golden opportunity to use the lessons you learned to help you select an ideal partner — a soulmate. Your soulmate is the person who gets you, chooses you, and is willing to go through life’s challenges with you because you both know that you’re better together than apart.

Realistic expectations are the gateway to showing up as your authentic self. Now that you’re no longer holding onto a fantasy of love you’re in an ideal situation to approach love and dating differently this time.

It’s a great opportunity to upgrade your dating strategies.

RELATED: The Psychological Technique People Who Have Great Relationships Use On A Daily Basis

2. You get a fresh start.

Going through a divorce is difficult but now that you’re ready to date again, you have a fresh start. This means that you don’t have to put up with any crap.

You get to make the rules for how you want to approach love and no one else gets to dictate to you what’s important to you. You can start dating with purpose and this will serve you on the path to meeting your soulmate.

When you let your freak flag fly your soulmate can find you.

Love requires risk and when you’re on the other side of a divorce and looking for lasting love, you can more easily risk and share your dreams and desires upfront.

Those who aren’t interested in the real, authentic you will scamper off, leaving only those who are truly interested in a relationship with you.

3. You’re more resilient.

Overcoming difficulties helps you grow stronger. Resistance creates resilience. The fact that you’re interested in meeting your soulmate after divorce means you have cultivated resilience in your heart.

Emotional strength and resilience come from facing difficult experiences and overcoming them. By facing the difficult issues in your life, you have developed courage and strength.

Life will always have challenges and divorce is one of the greatest relationship challenges you will go through. The internal strength you’ve cultivated will give you the endurance to keep on keeping on.

Meeting your soulmate after your divorce comes from developing the resilience you need to keep hope alive and to continue to date and move toward greater contentment.

RELATED: You Can Find True Love After Divorce — But There’s Something You Need To Do First

4. You’re clear on what you don’t want.

Most people aren’t motivated to create more joy in their lives. Instead, they’re motivated to avoid emotional pain. Post-divorce, you can use this to your advantage to meet your soulmate.

Through your divorce, you’ve become crystal clear on the type of relationship you don’t want. Use this clarity to quickly move on when it’s apparent someone is not an ideal match for you.

Instead of wasting time to see if someone will change and become the person you want, you’ve learned that people show you who they really are. This makes it easy for you to spot someone who’s not a match.

5. You can take responsibility for your part.

A healthy marriage requires mutual participation. The hard part is not getting stuck in either blame or guilt.

Pointing the finger of blame or taking too much responsibility will only keep you stuck in the past and lingering on what was.

You’re not 100 percent responsible for your marriage ending. However, you’re 100 percent responsible for your half.

Read that again, because most of our clients take too much responsibility upon themselves. Doing that will never allow you to create the lasting love you desire.

Draw a clear boundary to know what’s your responsibility and what’s not. Keep your side of the street clean by owning your behavior. Stay on your side of the street by not blaming yourself for your ex’s behavior.

This way, you can focus on what you did or didn’t do to make the marriage work and have a strategy for doing things differently next time.

RELATED: Questions To Ask Your Crush Before Meeting Up In Person

6. You’re ready to upgrade your dating skills.

Dating hasn’t changed much over time, but the tools used to meet people are constantly evolving. It can feel intimidating and a bit overwhelming to sort through the newest technological options.

Online dating, dating apps, and other technologies are just tools for meeting people.

You can try to avoid the apps and hope that you coincidentally bump into to love of your life at Starbucks. Or you can invest a little bit of time to educate yourself on using these new tools properly.

Also, the dating strategies you used to meet your ex aren’t going to work if you want to meet your soulmate.

Advertisement Feeling stuck in your relationship? Click here to chat with a certified coach from Relationship Hero to help transform your love life!

There’s no point in dating like a teenager.

Rather than expecting that you’ll meet your soulmate by accident, plan to upgrade your dating strategies even before you go out on one date.

Then, through a systematic and sensible dating process, you can discover new things about yourself and practice new communication skills. Just like learning anything new — this all takes practice, practice, practice. The dating arena gives you plenty of opportunities.

RELATED: 15 Things I Wish Someone Told Me About My First Year Of Divorce

7. You can create a new vision for love.

You know you don’t want to repeat your mistakes, but are you aware of what would really bring joy to your life? Your ideal relationship isn’t the opposite of what you don’t want.

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Focus on creating a vision for your soulmate relationship that excites you and motivates you to start dating again. Get clear on the dynamic you desire between the two of you.

Don’t get caught up in unimportant details like height or hobbies. Your heart doesn’t care what color someone’s eyes are or whether they like the same movies you do.

The important thing is to focus on what you value. When you share the same values as your partner, you have the ability to overcome any challenge.

Moving past your divorce and meeting your soulmate requires that you have a clear vision of the relationship you desire and whether you can navigate conflict to create a deeper connection.

8. You’re ready to risk your heart again

Love doesn’t come with guarantees. None of these steps will protect you from ever being hurt again. But they will give you the tools to keep moving forward into healthier, more loving relationships along the way.

Cynicism and fear are your enemies when it comes to love. They keep your heart closed and prevent anyone from connecting with you. Don’t let fear stop you from opening your heart and taking a risk on love.

The biggest risk you can take is to feel hopeful about meeting your soulmate. Hope is the door that opens your heart to love again.

You’re not meant to spend your life alone. Your soul craves the connection with a special person. You can certainly be single and happy, but if you really want to thrive in life, you’ll want to share your life with the love of your life.

With a little effort, you can overcome your past heartbreaks and develop new relationship skills.

When you mine your past disappointments to discover the gold that lies within, you may find that your split with your ex was the greatest advantage you could have received for meeting your soulmate.

RELATED: The 3 Biggest Dating Mistakes Women Make After Getting Divorced

More for You on YourTango:

Orna and Matthew Walters are Soulmate Coaches who have been featured guest experts on Bravo’s “The Millionaire Matchmaker.” They’re the authors of the free ebook, “7 Steps To Soulmating,” which can be found on their website. 

Sign up for YourTango’s free newsletter!

This article was originally published at https://www.creatingloveonpurpose.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.

Justice Secretary Dominic Raab is publishing draft legislation which could pave the way for the first victims’ law in a bid to provide better support and increase the conviction rate.

In an overhaul of the current provisions, prosecutors will be told they need to meet victims in certain cases before a trial to hear their views.

There will be also be a 20% increase in the victim surcharge penalty fee paid by convicted criminals when sentenced. This will help fund services like rape support centres and is estimated to raise an extra £20million by 2025.

Mr Raab said: “No victim should feel lost in a faceless system. We’re amplifying victims’ voices, boosting their rights at every stage and making criminals pay more to help victims recover.

“We’re doing this because it is morally the right thing to do to strengthen the care for victims, but also because it is operationally critical to drive up convictions – and keep our streets safe.”

According to the Ministry of Justice (MoJ), there will also be “greater accountability” on the Crown Prosecution Service and the police, with victims given “clearer routes of redress if they do not receive the support they are entitled to”.

Victims will be given the right to attend Parole Board hearings in full and ask questions during the process which considers whether prisoners are suitable for release. Judges presiding over the reviews will be required to consider the victims’ views and concerns before making a decision.

Under the proposals, ministers will be able to order criminal justice watchdogs to carry out regular inspections on victims’ issues. A new duty will be placed on police and crime commissioners, councils and health boards to work together to commission effective support for sex and domestic abuse victims.

Victims will no longer have to go through their MP before complaining to the Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman.

Dame Vera Baird, the Victims’ Commissioner for England and Wales, previously welcomed the plans, describing them as a “once in a generation opportunity to drive real culture change, requiring agencies to see, hear and help victims – if necessary, with real consequences if this does not happen”.

The proportion of suspects being taken to court is at a record low and remains the lowest for rape cases.

According to Home Office figures, only 5.8% of crimes in England and Wales resulted in a charge or summons in 2021 – the lowest level since records began six years earlier.

This meant suspects were charged or ordered to appear in court on 274,421 occasions in that period.

The lowest charging rate continues to be for rape, with 1.3% of 67,125 offences recorded by police last year leading to prosecution.

Disputes with vendors, business partners, customers and employees are inevitable. However, they are not top of mind when an emerging tech company has its sights set on growth. Many contentious issues can be avoided or reduced with attention to a few key areas that can ensure your next simmering disagreement doesn’t boil over:

1) Consider Your Terms of Service.

2) Carefully Draft and Review Provisions.

3) Be Thoughtful and Professional in Communications.

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1) Consider Your Terms of Service.

From Every Perspective. Remember that your terms of service govern both your customers and you. Know your audience and draft accordingly. When drafting for consumers, be clear and concise and only ask for what you reasonably need now or may need in the near future. For example, if your platform offers user-generated content, ensure your license to use their content doesn’t imply that you’re going to resell their content to third parties without permission or contribution.

If Introducing a New Feature or Product. Review your terms of service to ensure they address potential product or feature misuses. For instance, if your platform ranks offerings by popularity, consider ways that publicity-seeking actors can manipulate those rankings through bot traffic or other paid clicks. If your terms of service call for arbitration to resolve disputes, consider whether plaintiffs’ lawyers will band together to overwhelm you with mass arbitration filings (particularly troublesome where your terms of service agree to pay some of their arbitration fees).

2) Carefully Draft and Review Provisions.

Acceptance. Contracts rarely end with the parties in the same position as when they were signed. When drafting acceptance criteria for your product, be specific about deliverables and the counterparty’s timelines for evaluating the product. If the customer raises complaints and you disagree, be sure to explain those disagreements in writing rather than simply agree to fix the purported problem. Be wary of contracts giving the other party “sole, absolute discretion” to make decisions.

Renewal. When drafting service renewal provisions, consider whether your customer may become more dependent on your product, or may want to expand its use. Thus, rather than agree to a set renewal price (which may be too low by the time renewal comes up and the relationship has grown), leave yourself flexibility to negotiate a new fair price based on the customer’s then-current use and anticipated future use.

Termination. For termination provisions, be specific about which party gets what assets, and who will get paid for what. Consider work in progress, or work that cannot be easily severed, such as half-developed software. Ensure that you can be made as whole as possible in these “broken glass” situations.

3) Be Thoughtful and Professional in Communications.

What Is Discoverable. When a dispute devolves into litigation or arbitration, a company’s documents and an employer’s comments can be discoverable by an adversary. This includes oral and written communication, emails, messaging apps such as Gchat and Slack, and even text messages if you use your phone for work. As they say, “don’t put anything in writing you wouldn’t want broadcast in Times Square.” And simply because a message disappears from your view, doesn’t mean your company hasn’t saved it somewhere. Be smart and stay professional.

Preserving Documents. Likewise, once a dispute has arisen, the company’s lawyers will likely send a “preservation notice” or “litigation hold.” This means you need to save all documents possibly relevant to a dispute, including suspending any auto-delete policies. Failure to do so can lead to severe monetary or evidentiary of sanctions, such as the judge instructing a jury they should assume the missing documents contained negative information.

Relationships can be complex and fragile. It doesn’t always work out that people who once loved each other stay together until death do they part like they sincerely believed they would.

Sometimes, feelings pass away. Sometimes, people change. Sometimes, spouses simply can’t continue living together.

How can you tell your husband that you want a divorce, when you know he doesn’t?

Civil divorce starts with the right words. The first conversation may be the first step to an amicable breakup that can help you save your time, money and energy and maintain a cordial relationship with your future ex-husband. 

There is no one winning recipe for how to tell your husband you want a divorce. It’s a tricky conversation, but you can make it less traumatic for both parties if you are ready for it.

RELATED: 3 Things The Smartest Women Learn When They Get Divorced

Step 1 — Get prepared.

Before talking about divorce with your husband, you need to make sure that this decision is the only correct one left. Try to understand what you feel. It can be challenging, but it’s vital. 

Are you unhappy in your marriage, or are you just unhappy with your husband’s recent actions? You should try to remain objective when assessing the situation and control your emotions.

If you still love your spouse and think that breaking news about divorce may change his behavior then you should consider going to a family therapist. Many married couples manage to find the roots of their marital problems and solve them with a specialist’s help.

If you feel that ending the relationship is the only way for you to find happiness again, you should think about how to tell your husband about this decision. 

The divorce process mainly depends on how smoothly your first conversation goes.

RELATED: 11 Struggles Only Newly Divorced Women Understand — That Get Better Over Time

Step 2 — Think about how your husband might react.

Maybe you’ve noticed that your husband is also unhappy in the marriage, or you feel he might understand that your relationship is stuck in a rut. 

In this case, the conversation may go easier because you’re already on the same page and were just afraid to admit it.

Maybe your husband didn’t notice any changes in the marriage. 

Thus, divorce news could come like a bolt from the blue for them. They might be overwhelmed and not ready to continue the conversation at the moment.

He might get angry and demand explanations. By foreseeing this possible reaction, you will be able to build an appropriate strategy for this talk.

The worst-case scenario is if he gets angry enough to turn to physical violence. If you think it’s possible, then you shouldn’t be alone. It is better to talk about your concerns with a close friend or relative and develop a suitable action plan. 

You can also call the domestic violence hotline to seek help and advice.

Step 3 — Prepare your speech and practice it.

Get your thoughts together and plan what you want to say in advance. It will help you feel more confident, express yourself clearly, and continue the conversation, regardless of your emotional state.

You should be prepared to explain your decision. Thus, you need to make things as clear as a bell for yourself first. Your arguments should be well-articulated and reflect your real life. 

With this conversation, you need to help your husband understand why you decided to get divorced and that this decision is irrevocable.

Additionally, you can practice your speech in front of a mirror or share your thoughts with someone close.

If you need professional help, you may want to visit a psychologist or family counselor.

RELATED: I Got Divorced After 30 Years Of Marriage And I Wish My Friends Understood These 9 Things

Step 4 — Find a private place and choose the right time.

Your conversation should take place in a calm atmosphere. Try to find a quiet place where no one will disturb you. Turn off your phones and other devices that might distract you. 

If you have children, choose a time when they are not at home. Learning such news without any prior psychological preparation could be traumatic for them.

Remember, if you’re scared of your husband’s aggressive reaction, it is better to talk to him in the presence of other people. 

You can also do it in a public place, for example – a small cozy coffee shop with a relaxing atmosphere.

3 tips for talking to your husband

When it comes to the conversation itself, it’s crucial not to avoid it. After realizing how divorce will change someone’s life, a person might seek reasons to postpone the talk. 

If your lack of confidence in your own decision is one of those reasons, perhaps you should share your doubts with your husband and try to resolve the issue together.

If you are one hundred percent sure about divorce, you shouldn’t delay the inevitable. Calm down and follow our tips.

RELATED: The 10 Emotional Stages Of Divorce (So You Can Know When You’re Finally Done)

Tip 1 — Be calm and kind.

Try not to lose your temper. It might be hard, but it’s crucial for maintaining a good relationship in the future. 

Be polite, and don’t turn on your caps lock voice. Talk about your decision calmly and clearly, looking your husband in the eyes.

Be kind and sensitive. If the situation was the opposite and your husband wanted a divorce, how would you like to hear it?

The tone of the conversation will set the tone for the divorce proceedings.

Tip 2 — Listen to your husband’s point of view.

Hear your husband out. He has the right to ask you why you want a divorce and say what he thinks about it

Advertisement Feeling stuck in your relationship? Click here to chat with a certified coach from Relationship Hero to help transform your love life!

He may get emotional and point blame at you. You shouldn’t play that game.

Just listen and let him know that your decision is final and his words will not change anything.

RELATED: 5 Stages Of Grief During Divorce That Are More Than Just Sadness

Tip 3 — Be ready to insist.

If your husband disagrees with your decision to get divorced, then the slightest doubt, or even your trembling voice, can give him false hope. 

He may begin to persuade you to change your mind, suggesting some compromises. If you are serious about ending your marriage, then you need to find the inner strength to defend your decision.

Related Stories From YourTango:

We can’t tell you what exactly to say during this conversation because it’s up to each person. However, you should voice several points to help your husband understand the situation better. 

You may want to say:

• I thought it over, and my decision is final.
• I want to end this marriage in a civilized way so that each party’s interests, including yours, are met.
• We shouldn’t blame anyone for ruining our marriage. 
• We need to discuss all issues related to our divorce to make it uncontested and avoid lengthy court battles.

RELATED: 4 Tell-Tale Signs Marriage Therapists Use To Predict Divorce

What comes next

Your next actions depend on how the first conversation with your husband goes. Your spouse may need to think about everything you said. 

In this case, you should give him time to reflect on what he heard and plan the next meeting. If you see that your husband is ready to continue communication at the moment, you can discuss how to tell your children about the divorce (if you have them) or talk about the divorce process.

An uncontested divorce is one of the easiest ways to end a marriage. However, it only works if spouses have no disputes regarding marital issues. 

Thus, both sides should come to an agreement on the property division, custody, child support, alimony, etc. 

Most likely, you won’t manage to solve all the issues during this first conversation, but you can at least initiate the dialogue.

How to tell your husband you want a divorce is a purely personal question.

Preparing for this dialogue in advance can make it more comfortable for both parties. Moreover, a calm and honest conversation may set the stage for the divorce process.

Former spouses don’t always succeed in maintaining good relations after a divorce. Sometimes the problem lies in how it started. I hope that my advice will help those people who have decided to end their marriage and want to go through the whole process in a civilized way.

However, remember that a decision to get divorced should be well-considered and is worth making only when a person is sure that a breakup is the only remaining solution for an unhappy marriage.

RELATED: 12 Manipulative Mind Games Narcissists Play That You Need To Know About

More for You on YourTango:

Natalie Maximets is a life transformation coach with expertise in clinical and existential psychology.

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Divorce is a tough process on a personal and emotional level. It can be disruptive to families and impacts your life on nearly every level. Beyond these challenges, divorce is a major financial event for most people. That’s why it’s so important to understand the ramifications of your financial choices in divorce to steer clear of costly financial mistakes.

Here are seven mistakes that should be avoided when it comes to splitting assets as part of a divorce.

1. Keeping the marital home when it’s not financially feasible 

In dividing shared assets during a divorce, it can be tempting to want to keep the marital home for any number of reasons, but it’s important to be sure this is the best financial decision for you. Can you afford the mortgage, the taxes and the general upkeep on the house with a single income?

Be sure to make a solid economic decision versus solely an emotional one.

2. Forgetting to revise beneficiary designations 

Once the divorce is finalized, it’s important to revise the beneficiary designations on life insurance policies, annuities and retirement accounts to better reflect the people you want (and don’t want) to benefit from these accounts in the event of your death.

If you don’t update the designations, your ex-spouse would remain as the beneficiary, assuming they were during your marriage, which means they’d still be in line to receive a death benefit or inherit your retirement accounts without the information being changed.

3. Not understanding the value and tax implications of investment assets 

In looking at the value of various marital assets, it’s important to understand not only the current value of the asset but the tax implications of owning the asset. As a case in point, taxes are due when investments like stocks, ETFs or mutual funds are sold. Be sure to understand how things like the asset’s cost basis will work after the divorce and how capital gains are taxed.

It’s also important to do a review of any investment that you might receive in a divorce settlement to be sure the investment’s future prospects are solid.

4. Failing to discuss health insurance options

It’s important to be sure that you have access to health insurance after the divorce if you were getting coverage under your spouse’s benefits through their employer. If you are employed and coverage is available where you work, consider enrolling in the plan. Even if the legal split occurs at a time when your employer is not doing open enrollment for benefits, a divorce typically qualifies as a life event that allows you to enroll in most employer plans.

If you don’t have access to coverage through an employer, you will need to find another alternative. You might look at COBRA coverage through your ex-spouse’s employer’s plan. Or you could explore the open market, including your state’s health-care exchange to find coverage.

Beyond your own needs, if you will have custody of children following the divorce, it’s crucial that the settlement include coverage for them.

The cost of not having health insurance can be financially crippling in the event of a serious medical condition, so it’s best to ensure that coverage is handled in the divorce settlement agreement.

5. Not ensuring your children’s educational future is financially secured 

When divorcing, it’s important to discuss your minor children’s financial futures. Which spouse, or both, will cover college costs? If there are college savings accounts like 529s involved, which parent will control these assets?

When making these and other decisions, be sure to take into account the relative financial position of each parent as this can have an impact on the amount of financial aid the kids may be eligible for when the time comes for college admissions.

Part of your divorce financial planning should involve the financial impact on any minor children.

6. Retirement account issues 

Retirement accounts, such as a 401(k) or a pension, can be major assets in a marriage and should be considered in the settlement negotiations. Sometimes the retirement accounts of one spouse may be much higher in value compared to those of the other spouse.

These accounts should be dealt with during the divorce proceedings. In some cases, a qualified domestic relations order will be put in place to govern the division of these assets with the nonaccount-holding spouse. When it comes to a QDRO for a retirement plan such as a 401(k) or a pension, the ex-spouse receiving the benefits under the order will be treated as if the benefits were theirs as the plan participant.

In the case of an individual retirement account or an health savings account, each financial institution will have its own change of ownership form for the spouse receiving some or all of these accounts in the divorce settlement. 

7. Not knowing how Social Security benefits work for divorced spouses

Though not part of the divorce settlement, ex-spouses need to be aware of any Social Security benefits they may be entitled to under the work history of their ex-spouse. These benefits can be valuable and can sometimes be claimed in lieu of their own benefits if the amount is higher.

Bottom line 

Divorce involves many life-changing aspects. It can be a very emotional process as well. But make no mistake, divorce is a major financial process for most people involved in the split. Both spouses should look out for their own best interests in the process and ensure that they receive a fair financial settlement.

 

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158

Posted: Thursday, May 5, 2022. 1:02 pm CST.

Photo Credit: Jupiter Images/Getty Images

By Aaron Humes: In further reforms to the legal code, the Attorney General will introduce at the next sitting of the House of Representatives a bill to amend the Married Persons (Protection) Act, Chapter 175 of the Substantive Laws of Belize, Revised Edition 2020, to remove the listed grounds of fault on an application for judicial separation before the Family Court.

Presently, married women may apply for judicial separation under Section 3 of the Act on eight separate grounds, of which more than one may apply: summary conviction for assault; conviction on indictment for assault with fine or imprisonment totalling more than 50 dollars or two months’ imprisonment; desertion; persistent cruelty to spouse or children; willful neglect of maintenance; being a “habitual drunkard” (i.e., by reason of habitual intemperate drinking of intoxicating liquor, or the habitual taking or using, except upon medical advice, of opium or other dangerous drugs within the meaning of the Misuse of Drugs Act, at times dangerous to himself or herself or to others, or incapable of managing himself or herself, and his or her affairs); knowingly passing on a sexually transmitted infection (STI, rendered “venereal disease” in the legislation) during intercourse; compulsion to prostitution; and adultery.

Conversely, married men may apply under Section 5 of the legislation on six separate grounds: the aforementioned convictions for assault; habitual drunkenness; desertion; persistent cruelty; or adultery.

Orders made by the court include formal separation, custody of children and spousal and child maintenance.
In its commentary the Cabinet Brief states, “Too many times the Family Court is bogged down with acrimonious family proceedings that are not conducive to the family healing and moving on, with children being affected by such proceedings. It is important to note that these proposed amendments will not affect the protection against domestic violence under the Domestic Violence Act and will not affect the rights of maintenance for spouses and children.”

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In a single instant Will Smith became one of the most attacked characters in Hollywood, all as a result of the slap the actor gave Chris Rock on stage at the Oscars 2022 to defend his wife, Jada Pinkett, after the comedian made a joke about her alopecia.

A little more than a month after that world-renowned episode, too much has happened in the life of the Best Actor Oscar winner for his role in King Richard, from being the victim of countless criticisms to different rumors surfacing about the true face of Smith and Pinkett’s intimate life.

Smith and Pinkett reportedly starring in millionaire’s divorce

Whether because the media pressure has been excessive or because this moment has been the tip of the iceberg in the couple’s relationship, versions are gaining strength that the married couple is about to divorce, which will represent a huge legal battle that will divide Smith’s fortune.

Some media cite Pinkett’s cold reaction and lack of support for her partner after the media turned on Smith, and the separation could be formalized once Will returns home from his current spiritual trip to India.

“There were problems between them for years, but now they barely speak to each other. The tensions between them have been palpable,” sources told Heat Magazine.

How much is the fortune Smith and Pinkett would split?

After 25 years together, including periods where the couple took time off amid rumors of cheating and open relationships, Jada Pinkett would be entitled to half of Will Smith’s fortune, no less than $350 million.

This potential division of assets would happen in this way due to the laws of the state of California that so indicate, so Pinkett would add to her net worth, which is currently $50 million, the amount of $175 million.

However, not everything has been decided and it is expected that Smith and Pinkett will engage in a legal battle that could be bigger than that of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.

After Emily Pina’s parents separated, the 27-year-old in Phoenix said she spent years listening to her dad beg for the return of his family. He turned up the volume once her mom started dating.

Sound familiar?

“It’s the same thing as Kanye and Kim,” she said.

And like the celebrity couple, her dad’s digital life played a role in his breakup as it often does in contentious divorces.

Kanye West, now legally known as Ye, has gone quiet on Instagram after weeks of ranting publicly about Kim Kardashian in the name of fatherhood, which many saw as bullying and intimidation. His targets included Kardashian, her boyfriend, Pete Davidson, and Trevor Noah, who weighed in on “The Daily Show.”

In Pina’s case, she said her parents’ divorce was impacted in part when her father, who has since died, was scammed out of $10,000 after meeting a woman online and attempting to bring her to the U.S. She turned out to be a man at a computer. In other cases, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook are weaponized directly against an estranged spouse as divorce proceedings progress. Still more divorce cases include digital theft of emails, joint bank accounts and other shared logins.

Dan Stock, a New York family law attorney, warns that sounding off against a partner digitally can have lasting consequences when texts, posts, photos and other wrongs are hauled into court. That’s especially true when child custody arrangements are on the table.

“Even Kanye shouldn’t be trash talking on social media unless, as may be the case, he has a divorce court death wish,” Stock said. “It’s one thing to be the victim of a social media bully, but it’s an early holiday present to the case you are making if you are that victim’s divorce attorney.”

The sentiment was echoed by a dozen other lawyers who handle divorce, child custody and relationship abuse cases, especially those in California and a handful of other states with relatively new legal standards of “coercive control” as a form of non-physical abuse. The laws allow judges leeway in doling out punishments.

Advocates for victims of harassment and abuse agreed. They said acting out online in pending domestic abuse and divorce cases is routine.

“It’s really interesting with Kim. She’s pretty much the most protected woman in America, right? All the resources. And she is a great example of how even if you have all the resources, it doesn’t matter,” said Lenora Claire, a stalking and harassment survivor and victims’ advocate in Beverly Hills, California.

“It’s been really painful to watch but also really eye-opening for the public, who maybe aren’t as enmeshed in this issue as I am,” she said.

Katie Hood, CEO of the nonprofit One Love Foundation, has seen numerous occasions of social media turned against one person by another in divorces and breakups. Her organization provides young people with tools and resources to spot signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships.

“A breakup is the most dangerous time in a relationship. That’s when the abusive person’s control has been broken and they do a lot of things to try to wrest back control: control the narrative, control how their ex-partner is perceived,” she said.

Watching the Kim and Ye divorce play out on social media has resonated with many victims of relationship abuse, Hood said.

“A lot of people I’ve talked to are saying this reminds me of my ex. This reminds me of how my ex responded to the breakup,” she said. “Social media is an amplification point, a new channel. In the old days, before we had all this, you couldn’t see how your ex was moving on with their life or how they were spending their time or who they were with.”

Years ago, Hood recalled, a friend went through a breakup and her ex tried to sabotage her through phone calls to employers and family members about what an awful person she was, telling secrets and threatening to share harmful photos.

“Well now you just have to press post on social media or go to LinkedIn or set up fake accounts and bomb people with information that can really be damaging,” she said.

There have been a few visible consequences for Ye. He was banned from Instagram for 24 hours and he was disinvited from performing at the April 3 Grammy Awards after slinging a racial slur at Noah, who hosted the ceremony. Ye wound up winning two Grammys but was a no-show as an audience member. He dropped out of headlining at Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival, according to TMZ and other reports, giving organizers less than two weeks to find a replacement.

In February, Kardashian spoke up in a Los Angeles Superior Court filing about her estranged husband’s unsettling online behavior, urging a judge to ignore his attempts to slow down their divorce and end their marriage as soon as possible. She was successful, after arguing in part:

“Mr. West has disseminated on social media the parties’ private communications and misinformation about personal family matters and co-parenting, which has caused emotional distress.”

The rapper has been open about his mental health struggles and his diagnosis of bipolar disorder.

“When you’re in this state, you’re hyper-paranoid about everything, everyone,” he told David Letterman in 2019. “This is my experience. Other people have different experiences. Everyone now is an actor. Everything’s a conspiracy. You feel the government is putting chips in your head. You feel you’re being recorded. You feel all these things.”

Ari Lightman, a professor of digital media at Carnegie Mellon University’s Heinz College, studies online communities and the downsides of digital security and privacy. Divorce, he said, plays into broader issues on social media.

“In a sense, using social media this way is a protest movement, right? And there’s a very vocal group online that’s almost acting as judge and jury,” Lightman said. “I really like what Trevor Noah said, that we shouldn’t cancel Kanye but counsel him.”

Dan Jaffe, a family law attorney in Los Angeles, has handled wealthy, high-profile clients for decades.

“These are real people with real feelings. Things get lost and convoluted when we use the media to try and resolve these factors. The lawyers should be resolving these factors. Her lawyers absolutely have to be thinking about going in and getting court orders for a temporary restraining order for domestic violence. In California, it can be based on emotional upset, not necessarily physical abuse,” he said.

Receiving orders of protection for such behavior due to coercive control is far from guaranteed, said another longtime Los Angeles divorce attorney for the rich and famous, Alexandra Leichter. The standards offer hope for victims but there remains a reluctance among some judges to weigh in on free speech grounds. There’s no doubt, she said, that digital technology has “opened up a whole new branch of coercive control.”

Judges can “order them to stop, not to use the media, email, not to contact the person,” Leichter said. “Does it always work? I’d be lying if I told you that it does. It’s a much more complex situation with electronic media.”

Divorcing someone you thought you’d be spending the rest of your life and growing old with is far from easy. It’s challenging to call it quits and, when you decide to, unfortunately, even under the best circumstances, certain aspects of it are difficult to handle. After all, going through loss can never be easy, right? However, if you or someone you know is in that situation, here are some tips that might help.

 

Don’t Be Hard On Yourself

More often than not, people go through plenty of emotions during a divorce and end up blaming themselves for it. It would be wise to remember that there’s a reason why the relationship didn’t work out. Being kind to and caring for yourself will help in putting the past behind.

 

Try Keeping Busy

Engaging yourself in some activity is one of the easiest ways to take your mind off the situation you’re in and focus on the good. Try joining a Pilates class, or a Mexican cooking workshop, meet new people, make new friends and it’ll work out in some time.

 

Reach Out To Your Friends And Family

It might feel easier, but don’t shut your friends and family out. Going through a divorce is taxing, both emotionally and mentally, and leaning on your close bunch of people will help you survive the tough time. Reach out to your friends, make efforts to see them regularly, and spend quality time with them.

 

Spend Time With Yourself

In an effort to stay busy, don’t overbook yourself! Self-care is important, and it’s even more crucial when you’re going through a messy break-up or an ugly divorce. Take some time out for the things you love, such as gardening or going for a jog in the morning to clear your head.

 

Don’t Stalk Your Ex

As tempting as it might be to pick up your phone and stalk your ex on social media, we strongly suggest you don’t! Why bother taking the trouble to find out what’s up in their life and hurting yourself in the process? In fact, maintain a distance until you heal from the broken relationship, and decide whether you want to stay in touch with them.

Also, remember that the relationship didn’t work out because better things were perhaps meant to fall together. Trust that it’s all going to work out eventually and start afresh.

 

Also Read: 6 Things You Must Discuss With Your Partner Before Marriage

The top-notch couple of Hollywood Johnny Depp and Amber Heard have divorced. The dispute between the pair sustained longer than their relationship. However, the cost which Depp paid for divorce, recalled Mike Tyson and Sugar Ray Leonard, who also paid millions for official separation from their wives.

The Pirates of the Caribbean sea star and Heard began dating in 2012. After being romantically involved for years, the pair engaged in 2014 and eventually got married in 2015. Unfortunately, things between the couple went wrong, and they got divorced in 2016.

According to Page Six, the divorce awarded $7 million to Heard.

In a similar way, ‘The Baddest Man on Planet’ lost over $16 million while going through two divorces. First, he married actress Robin Givens in 1988, which did not work out and they ended with a divorce settlement.

The second lady, Tyson married, was Monica Turner. Though the pair separated, they lived together for six years and raised two children.

Per Marie Claire, her first wife, Givens got $10 million, whereas according to the Washington Post, Tyson paid $6.5 million to his second wife Monica Turner.

On the other hand, the boxing, great Sugar Ray Robinson, went through a nasty divorce. He married his teenage love, Juanita Wilkinson Leonard.

However, a few unsettled conflicts between the pair became the bone of contention, and they got divorced. According to the Baltimore Sun, her estranged wife got parts of his $50 million, plus fortunes.

What are the net worths of Johnny Depp, Mike Tyson, and Sugar Ray Leonard?

Known for playing the roles of unique characters, Johnny Depp dedicated over 4 decades to his acting career. In between, he became one of the highest-paid actors around the globe. His movies have grossed over $8.7 billion worldwide at the box office.

According to the Celebrity net worth, Depp has earned a net worth of $100 million. Which makes him one of the richest actors.

On the other hand, the former five-weight class champion Sugar Ray Leonard holds a net worth of $120 million. He made this figure mainly through boxing and smart investments. In the prime days of his career, the former champ was one of the biggest icons in the USA.

Here comes the phenomenon, Mike Tyson. He was a revolution in the heavyweight division of boxing. His career worth peaked at $300 million in the prime days of his career. However, later he squandered his fortunes and filed for bankruptcy in 2003. According to reports, the net worth of Mike Tyson in the year 2022 is $10 million.

Overall, the trio lost much of their fortunes in divorce settlements, but they have enough to afford a luxurious life.

Watch This Story: Boxing Schedule for the month of May 2022

What do you think of these high-profile divorces? Let us know in the comments below.

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• The average age of divorce is now 47 for a man and 44 for a woman

• One in seven (15%) didn’t realise their pension could be impacted by getting divorced

• A third (34%) made no claim on their former partner’s pension when they divorced

• One in twelve (8%) divorcees don’t have their own pension and were relying on their partner to finance their retirement

• One in five (19%) divorcees will be significantly financially worse off in retirement because of a divorce

Latest figures from the ONS1 show that in 2020, there were 103,592 divorces granted in England and Wales, but with a new law that came into force on the 6th April 2022 making it much easier for couples to get divorced through a ‘no fault’ plea2, this figure is likely to increase in the coming years.

Thinking about family finances may be the last thing couples want to do at this difficult time. However, it’s important to understand the impact that divorce will have on finances, including pensions.

The UK currently holds £15.2 trillion pounds in household wealth3. Private pensions represents the biggest single component of this wealth – at around 42% of the total (£6.4 trillion).

Agreeing a fair separation of this pension wealth at a time of divorce will be critical to the future financial well-being of both parties.

As the average age for getting divorced hits an all time high of 47 years and 5 months for men and 44 years and 9 months for women4, it’s fair to assume that the levels of wealth accumulated in couples’ pension pots may also be fairly high.

However, new research from Aviva suggests that 15% of divorced people didn’t realise their pension could be impacted by getting divorced and more than a third (34%) made no claim on their former partner’s pension and it was not included as an asset in the settlement when they did divorce.

Worryingly, almost one in twelve (8%) divorcees say they didn’t have their own pension savings as they were relying on their partner to finance their retirement.

As a result of divorce, as many as one in five (19%) say they will be, or are, significantly worse off in retirement.

To supplement their income following a divorce, a third of divorcees (32%) said they dipped into their savings; one in five (20%) used credit cards for everyday living expenses; a similar number (18%) borrowed from friends or family; and just over one in seven (15%) regularly sold clothing/toys/other household items just to make ends meet.

One in eight (12%) respondents admitted to having to go out to work, having not worked before their divorce, or get a second job (10%). Worryingly, one in eight (12%) also cut back, or cancelled, their pension contributions – putting their future retirement income further at risk.

Alistair McQueen, Head of Savings & Retirement at Aviva said:

“The breakdown of a marriage is often referred to one of the most traumatic and stressful events anyone can go through. Divorce can also be a costly experience, often including legal fees, a new home, a new car and new childcare costs. So, it’s perhaps predictable that so many need to rely on savings or credit cards for support during this time.

“It’s critical that, as part of the separation process, couples take time to think about and discuss one of their single most valuable assets, their pension.

“It’s common that one party will have significant pension provision, and the other party may have little or none. Clearly, this could be a relevant factor in any divorce. There are several options available to the Family court when dealing with pensions at divorce – pension sharing, earmarking and offsetting against other assets5.

“It can often be a very complex issue so, as well as hiring a family lawyer, it would be advisable for couples to contact a financial adviser to walk them through the pension valuation and financial process. You mustn’t underestimate the value of pensions at this time.”