{"id":173815,"date":"2021-11-24T08:32:06","date_gmt":"2021-11-24T08:32:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=173815"},"modified":"2021-12-12T15:58:24","modified_gmt":"2021-12-12T15:58:24","slug":"divorced-with-kids-20-co-parenting-tips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/divorced-with-kids-20-co-parenting-tips\/","title":{"rendered":"Divorced With Kids? 20 Co-Parenting Tips"},"content":{"rendered":"


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Isn\u2019t the concept of being divorced with kids kind of ironic? Think about it. You and your spouse decide you don\u2019t want to live together any longer, you want to get divorced, <\/a>you don\u2019t want to be a couple, and chances are the amount of resentment<\/a>, anger and animosity you have towards each other is off the charts.<\/p>\n

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Yet you have these people you created together and have raised thus far, who each of you loves with all of your hearts. So now, regardless of how hard you try to avoid each other, how much you cringe at the site of one another, how much he or she annoys you, and how much you wish he or she would move to Australia, because of your children<\/a> you are stuck. Stuck like two people being stuck in an elevator who can\u2019t go anywhere until help arrives (or in your case until the kids are grownups and even then, you will have to see your ex if they get married, if they have kids who have birthday parties, etc. etc.)<\/p>\n

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\"Children<\/a><\/p>\n

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So, when I read this reader\u2019s comment, I couldn\u2019t help but feel the irony of being divorced with kids at its fullest:<\/h2>\n

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I think it would be easier if I did not have to regularly interact with my ex. We share 50\/50 physical and legal custody.<\/a> Any advise?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Here is my advice: Of course it would be easier! Because people who get divorced<\/a> harbor resentment and bitterness and anger, it sometimes feels like life would be so much better if you never again had to lay eyes on this horrible, evil person who hurt you so unbelievably badly<\/a>, who ripped your heart out of your chest and stomped on it, who ruined your life and who aggravates and causes you anxiety every time he or she appears. Am I right?<\/p>\n

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But the harsh reality is that if you share custody of your kids and if you care about their well being (which you do, of course) you have to make being divorced with kids work. Some how, some way.<\/p>\n

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Now, how does one do that? Hmm\u2026that isn\u2019t an easy question but my one sentence answer for coping with being divorced with kids is this:<\/p>\n

Love your kids more than you hate your ex. It\u2019s as simple as that.<\/h2>\n

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What does that mean? It means:<\/p>\n

1. Gritting your teeth when your ex does or says something that makes you want to scream your head off.<\/p>\n

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\"Going<\/a><\/p>\n

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2. Avoiding bringing up the past and talking about what happened when you were married, what he or she did to you, etc.<\/p>\n

3. Not making accusations based on things your kids or other people say without asking your ex what the story is first.<\/p>\n

4. Ignoring petty things your ex might say or do because you realize it doesn\u2019t really make a difference.<\/p>\n

5. Picking your battles. Not making a big deal about things that don\u2019t mean that much.<\/p>\n

6. Not talking about your ex to your children<\/a>\u00a0or asking them tons of questions about your ex to get information.<\/p>\n

7. Treating your co-parenting goals like a business and not getting emotional.<\/p>\n

8. Saying things to your ex that put your kids at ease\u2014like hello and good-bye at drop offs.<\/p>\n

9. Not acting angry.<\/p>\n

10. Not acting cold.<\/p>\n

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