\n<\/p>\n
I\u2019m in a<\/strong> relationship with a man who is separated from his wife but not divorced. He left her five years ago and says their marriage had been over long before that, but he decided to stay<\/strong> until his children left home. We are both in our 50s and his children are now young adults<\/strong>. I was divorced<\/strong> in my 40s and have no children.<\/strong><\/p>\n We live separately. We\u2019ve had a very happy relationship for several years, but there has always been the <\/strong>elephant in the room<\/strong> of his marriage and the block it presents <\/strong>to our planning a <\/strong>future together.<\/strong><\/p>\n He has made some moves towards a divorce<\/strong> \u2013 contacting a solicitor and gathering information about his finances \u2013 <\/strong>but as far as I know, has done nothing beyond that.<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s difficult for me to understand: <\/strong>my own divorce was done, start to finish, in six months. Of course his circumstances are more complicated<\/strong>, but <\/strong>he seems<\/strong> unable to face the emotional <\/strong>and financial consequences<\/strong> \u2013 particularly<\/strong> as his wife has never worked much, which was a source of conflict<\/strong>. I know this will be hard but <\/strong>procrastination will<\/strong> make it worse as they both get closer to retirement age, with fewer opportunities for him to rebuild his finances.<\/strong><\/p>\n I hate the prospect of losing what has been the best relationship of my life <\/strong>but I can\u2019t play second fiddle to his wife, legally if in no other way, indefinitely. Do I have to <\/strong>walk away?<\/strong><\/p>\n