{"id":176130,"date":"2022-03-28T11:57:00","date_gmt":"2022-03-28T11:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=176130"},"modified":"2022-03-29T11:59:23","modified_gmt":"2022-03-29T11:59:23","slug":"mum-moves-on-from-divorce-by-marrying-herself-i-highly-recommend-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/mum-moves-on-from-divorce-by-marrying-herself-i-highly-recommend-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Mum moves on from divorce by marrying herself: ‘I highly recommend it’"},"content":{"rendered":"


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\u2018I didn\u2019t want to wait for someone to love me or be dependent on another human to be worthy\u2019 (Picture: @charlotte.s_journey\/mediadrumim)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

A divorced mum-of-two has married herself a year after splitting from her wife.<\/p>\n

Entrepreneur Charlotte Zum V\u00f6rde Sive V\u00f6rding, from Voorburg in the Netherlands, got divorced in 2020.<\/p>\n

After the two broke up, Charlotte founded female empowerment company Kamasense, which she says helped her come to grips with her own value, and prompted her decision to propose to herself.<\/p>\n

\u2018I didn\u2019t want to wait for someone to love me or be dependent on another human to be worthy,\u2019 said Charlotte, 32.<\/p>\n

\u2018I am already worthy. Worthy of love from myself and others, time, kindness, acceptance.<\/p>\n

\u2018So with that empty finger where my former engagement ring had been for years staring at me, I decided to marry myself. A relationship that will definitely last until the end of my time.<\/p>\n

\u2018It took about a year of working really hard on my self-worth and mental health before I realised that although my life had been focused on buying a house, getting married and having kids in order to be happy, if you truly accept yourself and value your time by yourself your goals change.<\/p>\n

\u2018In a society where women\u2019s worth is considered little, yet the standards we are held against are so high \u2013 we must be moms, good moms, but not helicopter moms, we must work but not too much but also have a carer but not leave our babies, we must be good wives but also have an opinion but not a strong one, we must be beautiful all the time but not too much makeup but not too little. It is impossible.<\/p>\n

\u2018That is where marrying myself came in.\u2019<\/p>\n

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\n\"Charlotte<\/div>
\u2018The ceremony was so lovely \u2013 it was small, with only my closest friends and my brothers\u2019 (Picture: @charlotte.s_journey\/mediadrumim)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Charlotte proposed to herself in July 2021 and was engaged for three months.<\/p>\n

She wore a white gold engagement ring with three stones \u2013 one for herself, one for her daughter, six, and one for her son, also six.<\/p>\n

She then held a wedding at her apartment in September 2021, which cost less than 400 euros (\u00a3333).<\/p>\n

The flowers cost 50 euros (approx. \u00a341), as did candles for the ceremony. Charlotte also bought a tiara for 50 euros, and her dress was a 180 euros (approx. \u00a3150) garment that she already had in her closet. <\/p>\n

\u2018We had a reception, and they showered me in confetti,\u2019 she said.<\/p>\n

\u2018We drank delicious organic vegan prosecco, I made my own vegan wedding cake, we had food and drinks, and laughed so much.<\/p>\n

\u2018I received some gorgeous gifts among which a precious art work of bronze of two breasts being held by two hands. As so to say, grab yourself by the breasts, you are strong.\u2019<\/p>\n

Eight guests attended, and Charlotte says that her family and friends were all supportive.<\/p>\n

\u2018They were all instantly on board,\u2019 she said.<\/p>\n

\u2018They were so enthusiastic about it. All of them dressed up so wonderfully.<\/p>\n

\u2018The ceremony was so lovely \u2013 it was small, with only my closest friends and my brothers.<\/p>\n

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\n\"Charlotte<\/div>
Charlotte when she was younger (Picture: @charlotte.s_journey\/mediadrumim)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u2018They all read their favourite memory they have with me and what they wish for me in the future. Then I read my vows out loud and gave myself the ring.\u2019<\/p>\n

The vows she made to herself saw her promise to embrace her body and personality, to be faithful to herself, to keep trying new things even if they scare her, to remain independent of others, to forgive herself for her mistakes, and to love herself.<\/p>\n

\u2018Wearing the ring is a daily reminder of that wonderful evening, but even more so, that I am allowed, can and will love myself no matter what happens,\u2019 she said.<\/p>\n

\u2018A reminder that I am strong and have overcome so many obstacles, that I will hold my boundaries and protect my peace.<\/p>\n

\u2018I highly recommend it, either as a strong finish of a mental health journey or as a start but really embrace yourself, do not fake it, make sure you feel it.<\/p>\n

\u2018My standards of a romantic partner are higher. I value myself and my time, and I will not let someone waste it for their entertainment.<\/p>\n

\u2018I love being by myself now, so if someone wants to join my life, which I welcome, they do need to add to it in a positive way.\u2019<\/p>\n

Charlotte would like to marry someone else someday, but her marriage to herself will still last a lifetime. <\/p>\n