{"id":202480,"date":"2023-03-31T11:36:37","date_gmt":"2023-03-31T11:36:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=202480"},"modified":"2023-03-31T11:36:37","modified_gmt":"2023-03-31T11:36:37","slug":"dating-after-divorce-advice-tips-and-why-this-is-an-exciting-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/dating-after-divorce-advice-tips-and-why-this-is-an-exciting-time\/","title":{"rendered":"Dating After Divorce: Advice, Tips, and Why This Is An Exciting Time!"},"content":{"rendered":"


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Dating after divorce is something many people dread. In fact, a lot of couples decide to stay together (not get divorced)<\/a> because neither wants to start dating again.<\/a> I mean, isn\u2019t that why you got married in the first place? Because you enjoyed monogamy and didn\u2019t want to go on awkward, uncomfortable dates anymore? So, why would dating after divorce be appealing?<\/p>\n

Because it is!!<\/p>\n

If you choose to look at the positives, dating after divorce might be the best thing that’s ever happened to you! Think of it this way: you now have a chance to meet someone who is going to be such a better fit, someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated, someone who makes you happy and healthy and loving being in a relationship.<\/p>\n

I’ve seen it happen again and again! People after divorce end up meeting the love of their life!<\/p>\n

Yes, being vulnerable, taking chances, spending time with people you know in the first two minutes aren\u2019t for you, or facing rejection, i.e. going out with someone you really like only to have the person never call you again isn’t easy. Thoughts of dating after divorce can feel hopeless, depressing and just plain scary. But that’s normal!<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>I get so many emails from divorced men and women asking:<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere do I begin in dating after divorce?\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cHow do I start dating again?\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cHow do I do this?\u201d\u00a0 <\/strong><\/h3>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Here is my answer: START WITH YOU. Start by liking yourself as you are, and accepting yourself as you are. Let me explain.<\/p>\n

I was 16 when I started dating. I met my now ex-husband at 33 and was married at 35. I then started dating again at 42. Dating at 42 is a heck of a lot different than dating at 16 and up (before marriage). At 16, and in my twenties and even thirties I felt untainted, happy-go-lucky, prettier, skinnier, and had no bitterness or baggage or history of anything bad at all really. At 42, let\u2019s start with looks<\/a>. I had: wrinkles, sagging skin, a muffin top, varicose veins, not to mention a broken heart and baggage. That said, 42 had its pluses. I found myself with more wisdom, compassion, I was more interesting, I was funnier, and I still felt physically attractive, but in a more mature, confident way.<\/p>\n

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\"Maria<\/a><\/p>\n

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I met someone at 43, and dated him for 6 years before we broke up. So, I then started dating again at 49!<\/a> This time was even worse. I had more wrinkles, a bigger muffin top, more varicose veins, and more baggage. I also began having some health challenges (typical age-related). But, at 49 I also had even more wisdom, compassion, I was even more interesting, AND I found gratitude and peace. I was gentler, less impulsive. I felt smarter, I really liked myself, and I was proud of myself from a professional standpoint and as a mom.<\/p>\n

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The key to dating after divorce and\/or dating at an older age is to love yourself for all of your wonderful qualities and accept things as they are. That\u2019s not to say you should eat burgers and fries every night and accept that you are larger. (Remember that health is important to a good quality of life.) But rather, accept that perfection isn\u2019t realistic nor is it necessary. Authenticity, gratitude and self-love are so much more important than perfection. Be who you are, but be the best of who you are–the person you really really like and respect. That is what others will see.<\/p>\n

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Now let\u2019s get down to specifics.<\/p>\n

Here are my 15 dating after divorce tips:<\/h2>\n

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1. Online dating apps<\/a> and dating sites are great! That is how people connect these days. Accept it and embrace it. Don\u2019t take it personally if someone doesn\u2019t respond to you. Remember, it’s a couple of small photos. How can they really get the real picture of you? They can’t.\u00a0 Swiping right and left is so quick that some people are going to pass up great people\u2014like you. Also, please be careful. Never go home with someone you meet online until you know him\/her really well and always take your own car or Uber to the dates.<\/p>\n

2. First date advice<\/a>: go in with the attitude that you are interviewing your date-not \u201cI hope he\/she likes me.\u201d Keep conversation relatively light and do not badmouth your ex or talk about your divorce. Think of the answer to the question: \u201cWhy did you get divorced?\u201d Know what you are going to say. Sugarcoat it but don’t lie. Plus, no one wants to hear \u201cMy asshole ex owes me $1500 and refuses to pay. I hate that dickhead.\u201d Or \u201cMy effing ex wife is a slut who cheated on me and doesn\u2019t care about her own effing kids.\u201d<\/p>\n

3. Think about selling your ring. I recently received an email from a guy who said he went out on a date with a divorced woman who was wearing her engagement ring (on her left ring finger!) To me, that says \u201cI can\u2019t let go of the past.\u201d Selling your ring can be liberating and empowering, and help you move on. I know it is a beautiful piece of jewelry, but at this point, it\u2019s just a material item that might hold you back if you keep staring at it (or wearing it.)<\/p>\n

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\"Grace<\/a><\/p>\n

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