{"id":203475,"date":"2023-04-16T13:53:06","date_gmt":"2023-04-16T13:53:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=203475"},"modified":"2024-06-14T12:07:22","modified_gmt":"2024-06-14T12:07:22","slug":"what-to-discuss-before-filing-for-divorce-with-a-lawyer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/what-to-discuss-before-filing-for-divorce-with-a-lawyer\/","title":{"rendered":"What to Discuss Before Filing For Divorce With a Lawyer"},"content":{"rendered":"


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If you\u2019re going to divorce, you likely have never done so before and only have anecdotal knowledge about what is a very complex process. You’re also probably not communicating very well with your spouse.\u00a0 As a result, many couples make the mistake of one spouse blindly meeting with and then filing for divorce with a lawyer.<\/p>\n

Filing for a divorce with a lawyer then triggers a series of events and creates undue antagonism that is very hard to alter.<\/h2>\n

It can cause you to spend more time and money on the divorce, not to mention added stress while also going down a path that will negatively impact your children.<\/a><\/p>\n

A\u00a0 different path could be better for you and your family. Instead of blindly meeting with and filing for a divorce with a lawyer, you are best served by educating yourself on all 4 methods of divorce, and if possible, deciding together which path is best for you.\u00a0 The decision you make will impact the time it takes, the amount you will spend, the stress level you will put yourselves under, and if you have children, the impact your divorce will have on them.<\/p>\n

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Before filing for divorce with a lawyer, try to discuss these questions with your spouse so you can proceed down the healthiest path for you and your family:<\/h2>\n

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1. Can our relationship be fixed?<\/a>\u00a0 Do we want to fix it?\u00a0 Do we want to give up on growing old together?<\/p>\n

2. Are we both satisfied that we have tried everything to salvage our marriage?<\/p>\n

3. Are we educated on all 4 methods to proceed with a divorce, which include a) doing it yourself, b) mediating,<\/a> c) pursuing collaborative law, or d) litigating?\u00a0 If not, take the time to educate yourselves before you proceed.\u00a0 It is best if you can both agree on which path to follow, and this decision should be made before you sign with a lawyer.<\/p>\n

4. Some questions to consider as you decide on a method to divorce:<\/p>\n

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    • Is your financial situation relatively simple, do you agree how to divide your assets, debts and property, and do you not yet have children?\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>If so, you may want to consider going to the courthouse and filing for divorce yourselves.\u00a0 This is the cheapest and quickest way to divorce, but will require patience as you learn about the process and do everything yourselves.<\/li>\n
    • Do you have children still living with you?<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0 If so, you should consider mediation, for the following reasons:\n
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      • You will make all of your own decisions, you will work together to compromise and you will build your parenting plan together because you know your children best.<\/li>\n
      • If you are in IL, the courts will require you to attempt to mediate your parenting plan, so why not start with mediation and see if you can use it for all decisions?<\/li>\n
      • Your children will hear you working together to create solutions, so when you each tell them you will always love them, they will believe you.<\/li>\n
      • The communication skills you practice as you jointly build your parenting plan will allow you to co-parent, post-divorce, in a way that mitigates the negative impact of your divorce on your children, and will give them and yourselves pride in how your family gets through the divorce.<\/li>\n
      • This method is extremely economical, can be completed in 2-3 months, and you will be guided by a professional to ensure that the decisions you make will be complete and will serve your family well going forward.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
      • Do you want to save time, stress and money, and divorce more amicably?\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0If so, you should consider filing your divorce yourselves, using mediation, or potentially collaborative law.\u00a0 All three methods are healthier than litigation.<\/li>\n
      • Do you want a lawyer to advocate and negotiate for you, but want to try to make all of your own decisions in private?\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0If so, collaborative law might be right for you. This is more costly than mediation and not as costly as litigation, and requires each spouse to have their own lawyer who advocates for them.\u00a0 If you cannot agree on all items, you will need to complete your divorce with different lawyers.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

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