{"id":212692,"date":"2023-08-25T13:33:18","date_gmt":"2023-08-25T13:33:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=212692"},"modified":"2024-08-18T12:50:54","modified_gmt":"2024-08-18T12:50:54","slug":"being-petty-in-divorce-youre-only-hurting-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/being-petty-in-divorce-youre-only-hurting-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Being Petty in Divorce: You\u2019re Only Hurting You"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

One of my least favorite words is petty, and being petty really bothers me. Sometimes I catch myself being petty, and all it does is make me feel badly about myself. When I see others acting petty, it bothers me a lot. Being petty in divorce happens a lot. I see it.<\/p>\n

According to The Free Dictionary, <\/i>if something is petty, that means it\u2019s trivial, not of big importance. I\u2019m not saying divorce is trivial, what I\u2019m saying is, divorced people<\/a> sometimes make a big issue out of petty matters. Also, being petty means a lack of generosity.<\/p>\n

Here are some examples of being petty in divorce:<\/h2>\n

1. A guy gives his ex-wife the monthly child support check<\/a> and takes out $35 because he just bought his daughter a new coat. The guy makes over $400,000 per year and he doesn\u2019t feel like he should have to pay the $35. It\u2019s against the law to take money out of a child support check for anything, but the guy knows the wife won\u2019t call her attorney about $35 because one phone call will cost her hundreds of dollars.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0A woman just met her ex husband\u2019s new girlfriend <\/a>and is burning inside. Not because she wants the husband back, but she\u2019s jealous and resentful that he is happy. Where\u2019s HER boyfriend?? The husband asks if he can take the kids on a night that isn\u2019t his, because he and the girlfriend want to take them somewhere special. The wife says no, even though she has no special plans with the kids.<\/p>\n

3. A guy just lost a ruling in divorce court and he\u2019s pissed about it. How dare the judge award his ex-wife what he so didn\u2019t want to give her. He\u2019s so angry, there\u2019s invisible steam coming out of his head. His thought process is, \u2018How can I get back at her?\u2019 Here\u2019s what he does. He cancels on her last minute when he\u2019s supposed to have the kids, just so she will have to scramble for a sitter or cancel her plans.<\/p>\n

4. A separated husband and wife are out for dinner together with their children because their little girl begged for them all to be together on her birthday. The check comes and both decide to split it, until the wife realizes that the guy had a beer and tells him to add that to his part of the bill.<\/p>\n

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\"Juli<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Here is how I feel about being petty. It\u2019s very unimportant, it makes people hate themselves, and the worst one, it\u2019s really, really, really bad for the kids.<\/p>\n

I realize that there are so many emotions that come into play when you are going through a divorce. <\/a>The person you loved more than anyone in the world at one time is now the person who angers you <\/a>so much at times, you can barely breathe. So, you want to hurt that person (at times) as much as you can, because he has hurt you. Or, he left you. Or he cheated. Or, you\u2019ll never forgive his bad behavior during the marriage. Or, he\u2019s acting so awful in the divorce that you just want to be awful back.<\/p>\n

People in divorce want to hurt people with big things and little things. Big things include trying to get full custody and keep him\/her from the kids (which is horrific for anyone to do), lying in court, litigating for the purpose of fighting it out, and parental alienation.<\/p>\n

But people often times feel like if they can get to their ex with a bunch of little things that will aggravate the person, make that person\u2019s life more difficult, or cause that person to have to spend money, that that will somehow give them some sort of gratification that they need. WRONG!<\/p>\n

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\"Feig<\/a><\/p>\n

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It might make you feel better to cheat your ex out of five dollars, or it might make you temporarily happy to secretly know that you have made your ex\u2019s life more difficult. But think about it.<\/p>\n

All pettiness does is make the person not like themselves!<\/h2>\n

In the long run, being petty won\u2019t make you feel better.\u00a0 It will make you feel worse. Why? Because deep down, you will know in your heart that you were dishonest, or that you exhibited bad behavior, or that you hurt your children. <\/a>In other words, deep down, you\u2019ll know you acted like a jerk. And looking in the mirror and knowing that never looks good.<\/p>\n

Being petty also messes with your karma in life. Do good and good will come to you. Don\u2019t do good and I don\u2019t know what. All I know is, good things come around to people who are do-gooders.<\/p>\n

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