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A woman who was raped by her former partner has told how her fight for justice in the family courts left her traumatised. The woman, who has a son with her ex-partner, first put the allegation of rape to the court in 2021 after the father, who she also accused of coercive and controlling behaviour, made an application to spend more time with his child.<\/p>\n
The allegations were dismissed by Judge Christopher Dodd but the woman later won an appeal to have her case reheard on the basis of errors made by Dodd, including that he had failed to facilitate the provision of \u201cspecial measures\u201d designed to help victims of domestic abuse to give their best evidence.<\/p>\n
Last month a different judge found that the woman had been raped, but only after she gave evidence all over again at a week-long trial in April, attended by the Bureau of Investigative Journalism<\/a> [TBIJ].<\/em><\/p>\n Speaking afterwards, the woman said: \u201cWhen I took to the stand I was having a panic attack, triggered by the memory of the last proceedings. I couldn\u2019t breathe. It was horrendous.\u201d<\/p>\n Her case was one of the first private law cases<\/a> to be brought under a reporting pilot <\/a>designed to improve transparency in the family courts.<\/p>\n It was overseen by Judge Clive Baker in Carlisle. He issued a \u201ctransparency order\u201d, outlining the conditions under which the case could be reported, by the media but because of a parallel criminal investigation into the rape, this was placed under an embargo. However, <\/em>TBIJ successfully had this overturned at a hearing on 9 October, with the judge giving permission to report.<\/p>\n The child at the centre of the dispute was conceived not long after the couple began dating, having met online and not yet had the chance to get to know each other properly. He has always lived with his mother but has had intermittent contact with his father \u2013 which deteriorated over time. He said he feared being alone with him because he would push him around during \u201chorseplay\u201d or pull the hairs on his legs.<\/p>\n The unwanted behaviours were among a list of more than 60 allegations the woman asked the court to examine alongside the rape and other incidents she said amounted to a prolonged pattern of coercive control by her ex.<\/p>\n The father said this amounted to \u201cparental alienation\u201d, which describes when one parent manipulates a child into rejecting the other parent for their own reasons.<\/p>\n The case is significant because the dynamics speak to wider concerns and debate about the use of parental alienation<\/a> as a legal tactic to counteract or silence genuine claims of abuse. The Family Justice Council \u2013 an advisory body to the judiciary \u2013 is now consulting on how the courts should respond to allegations of alienating behaviours.<\/p>\n When the mother gave evidence for the second time, in April, she trembled and was fighting back tears as she stood in the witness box, this time behind a screen to shield her from her ex-partner \u2013 a part of the \u201cspecial measures\u201d.<\/p>\n She told the court: \u201cWe were in here last time: it was really traumatic. The faith I had in the system failed me. The evidence I gave wasn\u2019t listened to. I could see and hear [the father]. He was sniggering during the evidence. I appreciate there are screens but this is really traumatising.\u201d<\/p>\n She said her ex-partner had been coercive and controlling from the start of their relationship. During her pregnancy, she said, he made her hide in a room when his friends came over, shouted at her when she fell asleep watching a film and smacked her on the behind so hard it left a handprint. They continued an on\/off physical relationship after splitting up in 2014 but the mother said their sexual relations had ended before the occasion in 2017 when he raped her during a visit to see his son.<\/p>\n Asked why it took her until 2021 to report the rape, she said: \u201cI\u2019m ashamed at what I\u2019ve allowed him to do to me. I\u2019m quite successful in everything else I\u2019ve done. I wasn\u2019t successful in stopping him from mistreating me or [our child].\u201d<\/p>\n Questioned by her barrister, Charlotte Proudman, about the nature of the father\u2019s \u201chorseplay\u201d she responded: \u201cI wouldn\u2019t say it\u2019s horseplay. I would say it\u2019s physical abuse. He has always pushed him over and laughed. If he was playing on the floor with toys, he\u2019d stand on his finger. He\u2019d punch him in the stomach, have him in headlocks.\u201d<\/p>\n The father denied hurting the boy but reframed the allegations as harmless games. He conceded he would pull his son\u2019s leg hair but added: \u201cI\u2019m not a heartless, uncaring parent.\u201d<\/p>\n He also dismissed claims that during sexual intimacy he would exert pressure on his ex-partner\u2019s neck against her wishes, causing her to panic. \u201cAt the very most I may have put fingers just above her collar bone,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n And he firmly denied raping her at her home in 2017, saying sex had always been consensual.<\/p>\n Baker laid out his findings in a judgment<\/a> published last week. He formed the view that the father\u2019s behaviour \u201cpushed the boundaries of acceptable parenting\u201d and that some of his actions towards his son could be considered abusive, albeit at the \u201clower end of the spectrum\u201d.<\/p>\n