{"id":222946,"date":"2024-01-09T18:58:51","date_gmt":"2024-01-09T18:58:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=222946"},"modified":"2024-01-09T18:58:51","modified_gmt":"2024-01-09T18:58:51","slug":"tips-for-conflict-resolution-in-mediation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/tips-for-conflict-resolution-in-mediation\/","title":{"rendered":"Tips for Conflict Resolution in Mediation"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I have a dear old friend who I value for her willingness to ask me hard questions and tell me the truth no matter what. Of course, I appreciate the support of all my friends, but I know I can trust this friend not to try to make me feel better, but rather to help me solve the problem. I\u2019m referring to tips for conflict resolution.<\/p>\n

I think I owe the same service my friend provides me to my clients. It\u2019s pretty obvious that people in conflict <\/a>often feel outraged by the other person\u2019s behavior. Right versus wrong is a seductive path and the underlying idea under many social phenomena, from team sports to Law and Order<\/em><\/a>. But right versus wrong doesn\u2019t help people solve problems and it doesn\u2019t lead to conflict resolution.<\/p>\n

When I was a young litigating lawyer, I learned a valuable lesson:\u00a0The courtroom is a bad place to figure out that the other side has a good point. <\/em>That means\u00a0that there are two sides to every story, and from the perspective of the people involved, each thinks themselves \u201cright\u201d and the other \u201cwrong\u201d to some extent.<\/p>\n

So, as professionals working with people in conflict, how can we help? It\u2019s useful for professionals (lawyers and mediators) to ask hard questions and give honest answers rather than answers that will lead people to think about the rightness or wrongness of their position.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Miller<\/a><\/p>\n

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If, instead, we can help frame the issue as a problem that needs to be solved and to ask questions that need to be answered versus bolstering a person\u2019s feeling of \u201crightness,\u201d we can refocus on problem-solving rather than bashing.<\/p>\n

Tip for conflict resolution: Find some objectivity to translate conflict into problem-solving.<\/strong><\/em><\/h2>\n

Conflict Resolution Case Study:<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Typically, a spouse might come into the mediation with a third-party financial analysis favoring the most amount of money in their pocket. While not ready to put out a number, the other spouse may look at the analysis and say, \u201cWell, that\u2019s not right.\u201d It could easily turn straight into a negotiation: \u201c$7,000.\u201d \u201c$5,000.\u201d \u201c$7,000.\u201d \u201c$5,000.\u201d<\/p>\n

Splitting the difference won\u2019t make sense for either person if it\u2019s split just to be finished instead of going back and really looking at what is in each of their cost-of-living analyses and estimated expenses.<\/p>\n

I displayed their budgets on a big monitor screen so we could all see and work through the financials together to develop a feasible support package.<\/p>\n

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