{"id":225085,"date":"2024-02-12T18:54:28","date_gmt":"2024-02-12T18:54:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=225085"},"modified":"2024-02-12T18:54:28","modified_gmt":"2024-02-12T18:54:28","slug":"the-power-of-venting-to-someone-during-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/the-power-of-venting-to-someone-during-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"The Power of Venting to Someone During Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cI hate him so much!\u201d \u201cThis is so unfair.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m going to go broke by the time this divorce is over!\u201d \u201cWhy is God doing this to me?<\/a>\u201d \u201cI hate my life.\u201d \u201cWho\u2019s going to want me now that I\u2019m 45 and single again?\u201d \u201cHe already has a girlfriend!\u201d \u201cMy kids are going to grow up so messed up.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m scared.\u201d \u201cLast week, he threw the child support check at me.\u201d \u201cHe\u2019s such a jerk.\u201d \u201cI can\u2019t even be in the same room with him!\u201d \u201cHe makes me sick!\u201d Sound familiar? These are all examples of what venting to someone might look like.<\/p>\n

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What does venting mean?<\/h2>\n

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Venting is expressing yourself verbally, usually with a lot of emotion. I know this because I vent a lot. I vented a ton during my divorce, and I still vent today\u2014about many things in my life. I think venting to someone is one of the healthiest ways of coping with fear, anxiety, anger,<\/a> and other emotions. But what happens when you vent to someone and you get a reaction you don\u2019t want?<\/p>\n

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Here are some examples of not getting what you want when you vent to someone:<\/h2>\n

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1. Oh, wow, that never happened to me. (I\u2019m sorry, are we talking about you? And how is telling me you\u2019ve never had this problem helpful?<\/p>\n

2. Stop complaining. You have your health, don\u2019t you? (So I\u2019m not allowed to express how devastated I am about my husband and I getting divorced because I don\u2019t have cancer?)<\/p>\n

3. You\u2019ll be fine. (That\u2019s a nice thing to say, but I\u2019m not fine now! I\u2019m infuriated and I just want to scream!)<\/p>\n

4. Let me give you some advice\u2026(I don\u2019t want your advice! I just want to feel heard and validated, like I\u2019m not going crazy!)<\/p>\n

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\"Divorce<\/a><\/p>\n

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Why people vent:<\/h2>\n

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I vent because if something is really bothering me, venting to someone about it is extremely cathartic. People don\u2019t vent because they want advice from the person they are venting to. They usually don\u2019t expect anything from that person except for them to HEAR what we\u2019re venting about.<\/p>\n

People who vent want to feel validated. They want people to understand how much pain they are in, how much fear they have, how angry they are. I don\u2019t even think people venting want the other person to respond with something like, \u201cYeah, I hate him too!\u201d Or \u201cYou\u2019re right, he is an asshole.\u201d Well, maybe they do. It certainly can\u2019t hurt, right?!<\/p>\n

Venting has so many benefits, even if the person you are venting to isn\u2019t even listening! (which half the time, I think people tune out during a venting rant.)<\/p>\n

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\"Birt<\/a><\/p>\n

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The benefits of venting:<\/h2>\n

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1. Venting is equivalent to \u201cgetting something off your chest.\u201d When you do this, you immediately feel like weight is lifted off of you\u2014like you got out some of your frustration. I actually often feel tired after venting. Venting takes energy because there is so much emotion happening.<\/p>\n

2. Venting will make you a nicer person because you don\u2019t have all of this toxicity bottled up inside of you.<\/p>\n

3. Venting will show you a lot about the person you are venting to. What was the reaction? Was it one of my above reactions (of what not to say?) Or, did the person just nod and show empathy and listen? (which is a great reaction to venting.)<\/p>\n

4. Venting might stop you from calling your soon-to-be-ex and going off on him! Think about it. Once you get those words out, you might not feel you need to say them again.<\/p>\n

5. Venting can be done on paper, by the way. If you want to vent, but no one is around or you feel like you are venting too much to your friends and family, try journaling your pain and frustration.<\/p>\n

If you think about it, journaling is venting. And the bonus you get by venting on paper is that you can re-read it at any time and get that validation again. So, it\u2019s like you\u2019re venting again.<\/p>\n

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