{"id":227603,"date":"2024-03-23T16:08:23","date_gmt":"2024-03-23T16:08:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=227603"},"modified":"2024-03-23T16:08:23","modified_gmt":"2024-03-23T16:08:23","slug":"the-blended-family-advantages-and-disadvantages","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/the-blended-family-advantages-and-disadvantages\/","title":{"rendered":"The Blended Family: Advantages and Disadvantages"},"content":{"rendered":"


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The blended family. It sounds so perfect. After all, the Brady Bunch<\/a> seemed pretty happy, didn\u2019t they? What the iconic seventies sitcom never showed us was that Mrs. Brady almost assuredly got on the boys\u2019 nerves, at times, and the girls probably wished they could spend some time alone with just their mom\u2014without the rest of the clan. And, we would be willing to bet there were times when one of the girls said to their mother, \u201cHe can\u2019t tell me what to do, he\u2019s not even my real dad!\u201d Get the picture? The blended family advantages and disadvantages are many.<\/p>\n

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We each understand the blended family. Katherine, a veteran divorce attorney <\/a>has seen her clients blend families during and after divorce. She understands the impact that a blended family can have on a divorce case, and a post-divorce co-parenting relationship. Through Divorced Girl Smiling, <\/a>Jackie has received emails from hundreds of those in blended families over the years, all asking for advice. Additionally, we are both part of blended families. Katherine got remarried with kids over 20 years ago, and her husband had children, as well (and then had another child for a total of 5). Jackie isn\u2019t remarried but has had a significant other for 9 years and he\u2019s certainly been part of the family.<\/p>\n

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The Blended Family: Advantages and Disadvantages<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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What\u2019s so wonderful about a blended family is the word family. Many people who get divorced mourn the loss of their \u201cfamily.\u201d Holiday traditions, Sunday dinners, movie nights, and family vacations all seem gone, and they feel they will never have these family traditions again. So, when they meet someone and fall in love<\/a>, they view the blended family as a chance for a do-over; a family but this time with the right person.<\/p>\n

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While it makes us both happy to see people with such love and happiness,<\/a> so many become disillusioned when blending a family because their excitement and the newness of the new family clouds the reality that guess what? Families are hard! And, they\u2019re even harder when the kids aren\u2019t technically your kids! Add in former spouses that might fuel the fire, at times and things can get rough. That doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re going to be miserable in a blended family. It just means that if you are realistic in your expectations and plan it carefully instead of expecting everything to be perfect, the transition from single parent to blended family will be so much smoother and easier.<\/p>\n

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\"Miller<\/a><\/p>\n

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We have some blended family tips:<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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1 Have realistic expectations and an open mind. The kids probably aren\u2019t going to embrace the new arrangement quickly but they will adjust and ultimately be a family.
\n2. Keep lines of communication with your new spouse WIDE open. The hardest thing is when it feels like one spouse is cricketing the other\u2019s children and believe us, you will feel like criticizing at times.
\n3. Keep lines of communication with your kids WIDE open. Invite them to tell you the good, the bad and the ugly and don\u2019t try to change their minds (and tell them you love them A LOT).
\n4. Keep lines of communication with his\/her kids WIDE open. Think of yourself as an uncle or an aunt.\u00a0 The step parenting relationship can be an incredible gift or a nightmare, its up to you.
\n5. Don\u2019t take things personally. This is hard but remember that it\u2019s an adjustment for everyone.
\n6. Plan date nights with your new spouse. You are going to need the time off.
\n7. Plan nights out with just your kids.
\n8. Plan nights out with the whole family and make them fun.
\n9. Try to remember how all the kids might be feeling.
\n10. Give your spouse\u2019s kids space. Don\u2019t try to be their new mother\/father.
\n11. Remember that your step kids are not your kids but they are part of your family.
\n12. Think about each family\u2019s rules ahead of time \u2014 for example, if bedtime for one set of kids is 8 and the other is 11, what will you do about that?
\n13. Create bonding opportunities for each family with the other \u2014 maybe pair them up for chores or a fun activity or sport.<\/p>\n

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Families come in all shapes and sizes and a blended family can be just as loving, fun and bonded as a traditional nuclear family.\u00a0 In our experience, it takes a lot of planning, thinking, experimenting (and forgiving) but what family doesn\u2019t?<\/p>\n

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Like this article? Check out “5 Signs a Marriage Cannot be Saved”<\/a><\/h2>\n

\"Katherine<\/p>\n

Katherine E. Miller is a\u00a0Divorce Attorney,<\/a>\u00a0who is also a certified mediator and a trained collaborative divorce professional. In practice for over 30 years and personally divorced, Miller is the founder of the Miller Law Group, all women\u2019s boutique law firm with seven divorce professionals. Miller is also the Director at the\u00a0Center for Understanding in Conflict,\u00a0<\/a>the organization that teaches mediation, collaborative law and other conflict resolution skills, and she hosts the podcast and radio show,\u00a0\u201cDivorce Dialogues.<\/a>\u201d Additionally, Miller is the former president of the\u00a0New York Association of Collaborative Professionals.<\/a>\u00a0She is a graduate of Vassar College and\u00a0Fordham University school of Law<\/a>. Learn more:\u00a0Miller-law.com.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

\"Jackie<\/p>\n

Jackie Pilossoph is Founder of\u00a0Divorced Girl Smiling<\/a>, (DGS), the company that connects people facing divorce with\u00a0trusted, vetted divorce professionals.<\/a>\u00a0 DGS is also a website,\u00a0podcast\u00a0<\/a>and\u00a0mobile app<\/a>. Pilossoph also created and wrote the weekly dating and relationships advice column,\u00a0\u201cLove Essentially<\/a>\u201d, which was published in the Pioneer Press, The Chicago Tribune and all other Tribune Publishing publications for 6 1\/2 years. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from\u00a0Boston University<\/a>, and spent time as a broadcast journalist at KTTC in Rochester, Minnesota, as well as several years writing feature stories for the Pioneer Press\/Chicago Tribune. Additionally, Pilossoph was a\u00a0Huffington Post blogger<\/a>\u00a0for 3 years. <\/em><\/p>\n

The post The Blended Family: Advantages and Disadvantages<\/a> appeared first on Divorce Blog | Divorce Support Blogs<\/a>.<\/p>\n


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