{"id":230505,"date":"2024-05-10T08:37:41","date_gmt":"2024-05-10T08:37:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=230505"},"modified":"2024-05-10T08:37:41","modified_gmt":"2024-05-10T08:37:41","slug":"marital-issues-can-arise-when-mom-brings-home-more-bacon-than-dad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/marital-issues-can-arise-when-mom-brings-home-more-bacon-than-dad\/","title":{"rendered":"Marital Issues Can Arise When Mom Brings Home More Bacon Than Dad"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Being married isn\u2019t easy. That\u2019s probably why you\u2019re reading this article! I get it. I can say firsthand, as someone whose marriage could not survive our marital issues, that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\/second-marriage-after-50-topics-to-discuss\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">being married is really hard,<\/a> and that there are issues in every marriage. Even those with a solid marriage have marital issues. And, every couple\u2019s issues are unique.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Among the biggies is money. Ask anyone, \u201cWhat do couples fight about the most?\u201d and they will most likely respond \u201cmoney.\u201d Financial discord can cause stress and fear, and can lead to arguments, resentment and even the demise of a marriage.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Money is a funny thing. Everyone has his or her own way of <a title=\"Financial Advisors, Elaine Moss and Peter Mullins, CDFA, CFP, Vestor Capital\" href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\/elaine-moss-vice-president-and-senior-advisor-vestor-capital\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">handling their finances and investments,<\/a>which stems from a few things: how their parents dealt with finances, their financial status growing up, how much money they make now, their knowledge and\/or interest of the financial markets, and more.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a id=\"ad-article-vestor-2\" class=\"ad-article adclick\" href=\"https:\/\/vestorcapital.com\/elainemoss\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/dgs-1def7.kxcdn.com\/wp-content\/themes\/divorce-girl-smiling\/images\/vestor-2022.jpg\" alt=\"Vestor Capital\" width=\"275\" height=\"275\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.podbean.com\/player-v2\/?from=embed&amp;i=44n79-15cf2d9-pb&amp;square=1&amp;share=1&amp;download=1&amp;fonts=Arial&amp;skin=1&amp;font-color=&amp;rtl=0&amp;logo_link=&amp;btn-skin=7&amp;size=300\" width=\"100%\" height=\"300\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>So, when two people get married, if they aren\u2019t on the same page financially, (which many people aren\u2019t) it can cause problems. For example, maybe one person is very financially conservative and the other is more of a risk-taker. Or, one person is a bigger spender than the other, who feels uncomfortable and fearful that the spouse is going to spend too much money, leaving them financially unstable.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Becoming more and more common is a scenario where the wife is bringing home much more of an income than her husband, and feels resentful when the husband tries to <a title=\"Amanda Campbell, CFP, CDFA, AAMS, AIF, Financial Advisor and Managing Director, Wealthspire\" href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\/amanda-campbell\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">control their finances. <\/a>This is the case of a reader, who emailed that she and her husband are having marital issues:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>I have been married for almost 20 years. We have two teenage boys. I have a high-powered corporate position and have been the breadwinner of the family for the entire marriage. My husband owns a small business and works out of our home. What is nice about that is that he can be somewhat of a stay-at-home dad. He can drive and pick up our kids from school and activities, and has always been there after school to supervise homework. <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>While this way of life has always worked, I am beginning to feel very resentful that my ex is so conservative with our money (which I have made!) When I say conservative, I mean that when I want to buy something big or take a vacation, he gives me a hard time about it. This summer, I wanted to take a family trip to Europe. He said absolutely not, we can\u2019t afford it. <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>How do you think that makes me feel, the one who has been working and who has missed out on spending time with my kids so we can have this great life? Does he have the right to tell me we can\u2019t afford it, when technically it\u2019s my money? I\u2019m very frustrated and I am losing interest and respect for my husband. I have tried talking to him about it but it\u2019s such a touchy subject. Any advice?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em>In my opinion, this woman has a right to feel resentful. She wants a European vacation, makes the money to take it, but her husband is holding her back. This feels very unfair to me.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I am sure that the husband is trying to do his best to save and plan for the future and for retirement, but he needs to start listening to his wife\u2019s needs.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a id=\"ad-article-campbell\" class=\"ad-article adclick\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wealthspire.com\/our-team\/amanda-campbell-cfp-cdfa-aams-aif\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full lazy\" style=\"max-width: 280px;\" src=\"https:\/\/dgs-1def7.kxcdn.com\/wp-content\/themes\/divorce-girl-smiling\/images\/campbell-cta.jpg\" alt=\"Amanda Campbell, Financial Advisor and Managing Director, Wealthspire\" width=\"280\" height=\"280\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>As far as it being a \u201ctouchy\u201d subject, I believe it\u2019s touchy for a few reasons: First, the husband\u2019s ego is bruised. How can it not be? His wife has been supporting him for almost their entire marriage. It doesn\u2019t seem like he is very proud of his professional career, and maybe he is jealous of his wife\u2019s success. Let\u2019s be honest. He is the man\u2014he is probably seeing so many of his friends supporting their families, and he isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>Now, is he bringing something very valuable to the table, being there for his kids? Absolutely! I would not want to diminish the fact that he is a somewhat stay at home dad. But maybe he doesn\u2019t really enjoy being Mr. Mom. Secondly, maybe the wife has lost some respect for her husband over the years, and thinks he could have tried harder to make a better income. Maybe she would be fine with it if he gave her more power over the finances.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a id=\"ad-article-litman\" class=\"ad-article adclick\" href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\/joanne-litman-financial-advisor-for-eagle-strategies-llc\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full lazy\" style=\"max-width: 275px;\" src=\"https:\/\/dgs-1def7.kxcdn.com\/wp-content\/themes\/divorce-girl-smiling\/images\/litman-eagle-strategies.jpg\" alt=\"Joanne Litman - Eagle Strategies LLC - Financial Solutions for Women\" width=\"275\" height=\"275\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>In any event, whatever they are both feeling, this couple could benefit greatly by discussing these issues with <a title=\"Juli Walton, LCPC, Therapist, Founder, North Shore Reach\" href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\/juli-walton-lcpc-therapist-founder-north-shore-reach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">a therapist.<\/a> They need to have an objective opinion and learn how to communicate with each other about finances to alleviate <a href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\/the-root-of-all-causes-of-divorce-resentment\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">resentment <\/a>and other negative thoughts and feelings. For example, instead of saying, \u201cIt\u2019s MY money!\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m the one who has been going to my job from 9-5 every day for 20 years, while you had the luxury of staying home,\u201d maybe she could say, \u201cGoing to Europe is something I have wanted to do for a very long time. I feel like WE have earned this trip, and that we will be making memories that you just can\u2019t put a price tag on.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a id=\"ad-article-wright\" class=\"ad-article adclick\" href=\"https:\/\/lwadiscernment.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full lazy\" style=\"max-width: 280px;\" src=\"https:\/\/dgs-1def7.kxcdn.com\/wp-content\/themes\/divorce-girl-smiling\/images\/wright-cta.jpg\" alt=\"Discernment Counseling for couples on the brink of divorce\" width=\"280\" height=\"280\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>No therapist can change the couple\u2019s differing opinions on the vacation or other spending issues. But, he or she CAN help this couple talk to each other more effectively and with that could come compromises and less resentment.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>As I said before, money is a funny thing. But it\u2019s not so funny when it impacts a couple\u2019s ability to maintain a <a title=\"9 Signs of a Healthy Relationship\" href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\/9-signs-of-a-healthy-relationship\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">happy, healthy relationship. <\/a>Open, honest communication\u2014either with each other or through therapy or both is helpful, but it will only work if two things are present: empathy and appreciation. In other words, if Mom\u2019s bringing home more bacon but Dad\u2019s adding value when it comes to parenting, then both are bringing something to the table. Not only do they need to look in the mirror and realize that, but they need to thank each other for their contribution.<\/p>\n<h2>Like this article? Check out <a title=\"Financial Abuse in a Marriage: Signs and Steps to Take if You\u2019re a Victim\" href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\/financial-abuse-in-a-marriage-signs-and-steps-to-take-if-youre-a-victim\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u201cFinancial Abuse in a Marriage: Signs and Steps to Take if You are a Victim\u201d<\/a><\/h2>\n<p>The post <a href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\/marital-issues-can-arise-when-mom-brings-home-more-bacon-than-dad\/\">Marital Issues Can Arise When Mom Brings Home More Bacon Than Dad<\/a> appeared first on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\">Divorce Blog | Divorce Support Blogs<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\/marital-issues-can-arise-when-mom-brings-home-more-bacon-than-dad\/\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/contact-us\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-14\" src=\"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/footer-300x100.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/footer-300x100.png 300w, https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/footer-150x50.png 150w, https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/footer.png 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><center><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: 0;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/maps\/embed?pb=!1m18!1m12!1m3!1d2476.5079014266626!2d-0.17814168422544607!3d51.6322229796558!2m3!1f0!2f0!3f0!3m2!1i1024!2i768!4f13.1!3m3!1m2!1s0x0%3A0xa69992b831f15d4a!2sDominic+Levent+Solicitors!5e0!3m2!1sen!2suk!4v1529480690358\" width=\"600\" height=\"450\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/center>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><center><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: 0px #ffffff none;\" src=\"https:\/\/calendar.google.com\/calendar\/embed?src=sc635csnrm8h9s9lq0cad6vkss@group.calendar.google.com\" name=\"myiFrame\" width=\"600px\" height=\"3px\" frameborder=\"1\" marginwidth=\"0px\" marginheight=\"0px\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/center>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><center><\/center><\/p>\n<div>\n<div><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.dominiclevent.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/Business_Solicitors_London.jpg\" width=\"600\" \/><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div>Dominic Levent Solicitors<\/div>\n<div>Email: Enquiries@dominiclevent.com<\/div>\n<div>Phone: 020 8347 6640<\/div>\n<div>Url: https:\/\/www.dominiclevent.com<\/div>\n<div style=\"display: none;\">cash, check, credit card, invoice<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>\n<div>1345 High Rd<\/div>\n<div>London, London N20 9HR<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Being married isn\u2019t easy. That\u2019s probably why you\u2019re reading this article! I get it. I can say firsthand, as someone whose marriage could not survive our marital issues, that being married is really hard, and that there are issues in every marriage. Even those with a solid marriage have marital issues. And, every couple\u2019s issues &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/marital-issues-can-arise-when-mom-brings-home-more-bacon-than-dad\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Marital Issues Can Arise When Mom Brings Home More Bacon Than Dad&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":230506,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-230505","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news1","entry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Marital Issues Can Arise When Mom Brings Home More Bacon Than Dad - Dominic Levent Solicitors Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/marital-issues-can-arise-when-mom-brings-home-more-bacon-than-dad\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Marital Issues Can Arise When Mom Brings Home More Bacon Than Dad - Dominic Levent Solicitors Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Being married isn\u2019t easy. 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