{"id":232315,"date":"2024-06-01T07:27:00","date_gmt":"2024-06-01T07:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=232315"},"modified":"2024-06-01T07:27:00","modified_gmt":"2024-06-01T07:27:00","slug":"does-no-sex-in-marriage-justify-a-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/does-no-sex-in-marriage-justify-a-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"Does No Sex In Marriage Justify A Divorce?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

It\u2019s easy to judge someone for getting divorced<\/a> because of no sex in marriage.It sounds very trivial to some people when they hear about a divorce caused by lack of sex-as if sex is the most important thing to that person and they aren\u2019t grateful for their wonderful marriage. I could not disagree more. Why? Because when there is no sex in marriage, and one person wants it, there are usually many more underlying problems. In other words, it\u2019s not the lack of sex that breaks people up, it\u2019s the underlying causes that lead to lack of sex that break people up.<\/p>\n

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\"Colleen<\/a><\/p>\n

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There are many reasons people might not have an interest in sex. These can include depression, menopause, bad timing, physical issues, low libido, stress, addiction,<\/a> medications that might have this side effect, an eating disorder, lack of sleep, or they are having sex elsewhere.<\/p>\n

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But there\u2019s another HUGE reason why some people don\u2019t want sex: built up, underlying resentment and anger.<\/a> Who would want to have sex with a spouse if they have this secret anger and feel that there are many things from the past that they resent? Would you want to jump into bed with someone who you feel has wronged you? No way.<\/p>\n

A lot of people tell me, \u201cMy spouse never wants to have sex with me,\u201d and the first question I ask is: Is there respect in the marriage? Do you treat each other with kindness and thoughtfulness? Do you go on dates?<\/p>\n

What I\u2019m saying is, no one wants to have sex with someone who is mean to them, who doesn\u2019t treat them with kindness and respect, who doesn\u2019t show an interest in them, who is moody\/hot and cold. Who isn\u2019t thoughtful. Who forgets your birthday or doesn\u2019t do anything to acknowledge it. Who doesn\u2019t want to go on trips you want to go on.<\/p>\n

What leads to sex is: respect, kindness, thoughtfulness and dating your spouse.<\/p>\n

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Here is an email I received from a woman in her late thirties, who has been married for 5 years and is now thinking of separating<\/a> because of no sex in marriage:<\/p>\n

\u00a0My husband and I are having sex twice a year. Over the years, I got tired of always being the initiator and the one to make the first move, so I stopped. This lead to us not being intimate, and now me no longer being attracted to my husband. When we do try to be intimate, it is awkward and doesn\u2019t turn me on. My husband no longer knows my body, where to touch me, or what to do to please me.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

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\"Varghese<\/a><\/p>\n

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\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

My husband and I have each been to our own therapists, couples therapy<\/a>, and also have talked endlessly about the topic. He admitted he has had this issue in past relationships, and he said not having sex is not a deal breaker for him in a marriage. I admitted for me it is. I am now finding myself seeking attention elsewhere. <\/em><\/p>\n

I am in the BEST shape of my life, feel beautiful and not getting any younger. The tough aspect of this is I have a wonderful husband in most other aspects. He is respectful, loves me to pieces, is patient, goes out of his way to help me, is always here for me to support me, and he really wants our marriage to work. Others tell me it sounds like he is just merely my best friend.<\/em><\/p>\n

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I keep convincing myself divorcing over sex is not realistic because eventually that aspect fades. But I know in my heart that intimacy may fade, but usually not after such a short period of time. There is so much more I want to do to explore my sexuality and sensual side, and know in my heart it won\u2019t be with my husband. But is that a reason to leave? He is definitely not open to a having an open relationship or infidelity. Can we really have it all\u2026emotional love and physical love? <\/em><\/p>\n

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\"Cherie<\/a><\/p>\n

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