{"id":232876,"date":"2026-04-12T07:12:02","date_gmt":"2026-04-12T07:12:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=232876"},"modified":"2026-04-12T09:01:32","modified_gmt":"2026-04-12T09:01:32","slug":"divorce-turning-anger-and-resentment-into-peace-and-excitement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/divorce-turning-anger-and-resentment-into-peace-and-excitement\/","title":{"rendered":"Divorce – Turning Anger and Resentment into Peace and Excitement"},"content":{"rendered":"


\nAmidst the fear, anger, resentment, anxiety and sadness of divorce, there\u2019s something good. Know what that is? Excitement. The excitement lies not in the past chapters of your life that have already happened, but in the ones to come. And I think that no matter how much pain you are in during and after divorce<\/a>, it\u2019s comforting to know that you have chapters ahead of you that have the potential to be the best times of your life. But how do you get from anger, resentment and all those other emotions to excitement?<\/p>\n

People going through a divorce<\/a> tend to be past and present focused for a few reasons. First, divorce is traumatic. It\u2019s surreal and confusing, and you can\u2019t think beyond right now because so much is happening every day and all at once. Also, regrets start to set in<\/a> and you start to think about all the things you wish you would have done in the past to change what\u2019s happening now. People even think, \u2018I wish I wouldn\u2019t have married this guy.\u2019 Holding onto regret is very unproductive, by the way, but people do it. I know I did and still catch myself sometimes.<\/p>\n

The main reason people getting divorced<\/a> don\u2019t want to think about the future is because it\u2019s extremely stressful, and a lot of times, there are two awful words in your thoughts: What if? Some examples: What if I\u2019m alone forever? What if I can\u2019t pay my mortgage? What if my kids are messed up because of the divorce? What if? We think of worst case scenarios.<\/p>\n

But what would happen if you decided to think about your future story chapters as excitement instead? What if you used the words, \u201cWhat if\u201d like this: \u00a0What if I end up meeting the love of my life in a couple years? What if I realize even more how toxic my marriage was and how much better of a place I\u2019m in now? What if I end up loving my new job (that I don\u2019t have yet)? What if I\u2019m really really happy?<\/p>\n

The idea for this article comes from the past couple weeks where two very close people to me have passed away. It got me thinking that we all have a life story and we don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen. We don\u2019t know what the future holds, so why think negatively<\/a> if you can shift your mindset to thinking positively? You have the power to turn your fear, anxiety, anger, resentment and lack of self-confidence into hope and gratitude and self-love.<\/p>\n

What these deaths got me thinking is, the only part of your story that you know, 100% guaranteed, is that you will die. Now, I know that sounds really morbid and negative, but I don\u2019t mean it that way. What if you die in your sleep at 92? That\u2019s not morbid and negative, is it?<\/p>\n

So, if you are reading this and you are getting divorced and you are 55<\/a>, you get to write your story from today until age 92! (hopefully.) That\u2019s 37 more years you have to do whatever you want, to do good in the world, to raise and be with your kids, to pursue any dream you have, to do fun, exciting things, to travel, and to spend time with people you love and care about.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s talk about the people you are at odds with\u2014specifically your ex, or your ex-in-laws, or his or her friends, or a friend you had a falling out with, anyone who you feel wronged you or who hurt you. Let\u2019s talk about these people. We all know the end of their stories, too. They will die at some point.<\/p>\n

So, my friend who recently passed was married to her husband for 32 years. At the funeral, the guy\u2019s adult son was telling people\u2014including the couples\u2019 friends, that the guy left his mother for this woman (the one who died) 32 years ago. It was very upsetting to me for many reasons. First, the woman who died is not here to tell her side of the story, and now, all her friends (that she met in her later years) will be gossiping about her. \u00a0Secondly, instead of focusing on his father, who is devastated by his wife\u2019s death, the son is focused on his own pain that he obviously has not come to terms with.<\/p>\n

The point of this story is not to depress you, or to tell you to be kind and forgive people who wronged you or who treat you badly or with no respect because they are going to die someday. You have every right to feel the way you do about someone, to verbalize it, and to decide not to have a relationship or even speak to the person.<\/p>\n

I just want you to keep in mind two things: One, once the person dies, you will never ever ever ever be able to make amends or tell that person how you feel. So, even if your ex (or someone else you are at odds with) is healthy as a horse and relatively young, you might want to clear the air. Also, clearing the air, making amends or forgiving someone will help you make your <\/em>story better.<\/p>\n

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