{"id":236875,"date":"2024-08-09T12:31:15","date_gmt":"2024-08-09T12:31:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=236875"},"modified":"2024-08-09T12:31:15","modified_gmt":"2024-08-09T12:31:15","slug":"one-big-reason-why-marriages-fail","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/one-big-reason-why-marriages-fail\/","title":{"rendered":"One Big Reason Why Marriages Fail"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>This might sound trite, but a common clich\u00e9 is \u201cyou have to be happy with yourself before you are going to be happy with someone else.\u201d Yes, that is true, but what happens when two people were happy, they got married, and then <a href=\"https:\/\/www.micheleheffron.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">some life change causes one of the people to be unhappy,<\/a> spiral downward, cheat, perhaps, or develop some kind of addiction, ultimately causing an unhappy marriage, followed by divorce? That is one big reason why marriages fail.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s impossible for people not to change as they grow and as time goes by. I was a completely different person at 21 than I am now in my 50\u2019s. So, let\u2019s say you got married when you were 28 and you\u2019re now 55. Your spouse is probably really different in some ways than when the two of you were first married, but the same in a lot of ways, too. I believe the core of who we are really never changes. If you have a heart of gold as a kid, you have a heart of gold as an old woman. But, change is absolutely inevitable, and it can sometimes break a marriage, if it\u2019s negative change.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.podbean.com\/player-v2\/?from=embed&amp;i=sdw7t-163e3cd-pb&amp;square=1&amp;share=1&amp;download=1&amp;fonts=Arial&amp;skin=1&amp;font-color=&amp;rtl=0&amp;logo_link=&amp;btn-skin=7&amp;size=300\" width=\"100%\" height=\"300\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>There are many <a title=\"Change is a Bitch: Tips for Coping with Fear of Change\" href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\/change-is-a-bitch-tips-for-coping-with-fear-of-change\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">feelings associated with change.<\/a> Some are good and some are bad.<\/p>\n<p>Here are some examples:<\/p>\n<h2>Change: A family member becomes ill or dies.<\/h2>\n<p>Feelings: Sadness and fear.<\/p>\n<h2>Change: A person loses his\/her job<\/h2>\n<p>Feelings: lowers self-esteem, gives the person low self worth. Anger, fear, anxiety.<\/p>\n<h2>Change: Having kids<\/h2>\n<p>Feelings: makes people more selfless, happy, responsible.<\/p>\n<h2>Change: physical, the way we look, aging<\/h2>\n<p>Feelings: Insecurity, unhappiness, or the opposite: confidence or putting too much emphasis on the way we look physically<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a id=\"ad-article-ofw\" class=\"ad-article adclick\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ourfamilywizard.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full lazy\" style=\"max-width: 275px;\" src=\"https:\/\/dgs-1def7.kxcdn.com\/wp-content\/themes\/divorce-girl-smiling\/images\/ourfamiilywizard-cta.png\" alt=\"Our Family Wizard\" width=\"275\" height=\"275\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2>Change: financial\u2014a bad investment or business deal, losing a significant amount of money<\/h2>\n<p>Feelings: anger, bitterness, jealous of those who have more money.<\/p>\n<p>Changes are endless and they never stop. It\u2019s the changes that make people unhappy with themselves that become one big reason why marriages fail.<\/p>\n<h2>If you are happy and your spouse is unhappy, here are some things that could happen:<\/h2>\n<h2><strong>The unhappy person<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ul class=\"bloglisting\">\n<li>The unhappy person could become jealous of the happy person, and start to resent him\/her.<\/li>\n<li>The unhappy person could blame the happy person for his\/her unhappiness, think he\/she is the problem. Cheating is possible in this scenario.<\/li>\n<li>The unhappy person could turn to alcohol, drugs or another <a title=\"Why This Couple Survived Alcohol Addiction\" href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\/why-this-couple-survived-alcohol-addiction\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">addiction to try to soothe the unhappiness.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>The unhappy person could start nit picking when it comes to the happy person, expecting that person to be perfect.<\/li>\n<li>The unhappy person could start to talk about the past with the happy person and blame them for things that happened a long time ago, saying things like, \u201cyou ruined my life.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a id=\"ad-article-litman\" class=\"ad-article adclick\" href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\/joanne-litman-financial-advisor-for-eagle-strategies-llc\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full lazy\" style=\"max-width: 275px;\" src=\"https:\/\/dgs-1def7.kxcdn.com\/wp-content\/themes\/divorce-girl-smiling\/images\/litman-eagle-strategies.jpg\" alt=\"Joanne Litman - Eagle Strategies LLC - Financial Solutions for Women\" width=\"275\" height=\"275\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2><strong>The happy person<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ul class=\"bloglisting\">\n<li style=\"list-style-type: none;\">\n<ul class=\"bloglisting\">\n<li>The happy person might feel helpless and frustrated because he\/she can\u2019t help the unhappy person and has no control over it.<\/li>\n<li>The happy person might feel guilty for being so happy when the one he\/she loves isn\u2019t.<\/li>\n<li>The happy person might get desperate to make the unhappy person happy, make compromises and then resent the unhappy person later.<\/li>\n<li>The happy person might get angry at the unhappy person, or feel disappointed in the person for not taking steps to become happy.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a id=\"ad-article-varghese\" class=\"ad-article adclick\" href=\"https:\/\/versustexas.com\/family-law\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full lazy\" style=\"max-width: 275px;\" src=\"https:\/\/dgs-1def7.kxcdn.com\/wp-content\/themes\/divorce-girl-smiling\/images\/varghese-cta.jpg?v2\" alt=\"Varghese Summersett\" width=\"275\" height=\"275\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I have two examples of couples where one person is happy and one is not. The first is a friend of mine who in the past few years has become very professionally successful. Her husband is successful, as well, but because of the change, the notoriety and the money his wife is making, he is having a hard time. It\u2019s very obvious that he has become jealous. He is mean to her in front of their kids and he never wants to talk about her job. Her words, \u201cI\u2019m irritated with him. No one said he wasn\u2019t allowed to try to achieve this, too.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The second example is a woman who lost her job a few years ago, and is now working in a job she is clearly overqualified for. She hates going to work. The job is mindless and a bit demeaning to her. About a year ago, she began accusing her husband (very successful professionally and couldn\u2019t be happier at work) of cheating on her. She gets crazy, screaming at him and saying she knows he\u2019s sleeping with other women. The guy has never cheated and thinks \u201cshe is crazy and needs to get a life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>These are examples of how inevitable change can affect the love people have for themselves, which can cause their relationship to suffer, which is a huge reason why marriages fail.<\/p>\n<h2>Here\u2019s my advice for:<\/h2>\n<h2><strong>The unhappy person: <\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Figure out if it\u2019s the marriage, or if you are unhappy with yourself and have the courage to admit if it\u2019s YOU. People can be unhappy about ANYTHING, from a scarred childhood to a job they hate to being 30 pounds overweight and unable to lose it. Let your happy spouse stay happy! He\/she didn\u2019t do anything wrong because they are happy. If you truly love him\/her, you should focus on fixing yourself and be happy for that other person.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a id=\"ad-article-mds\" class=\"ad-article adclick\" href=\"https:\/\/mydivorcesolution.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full lazy\" style=\"max-width: 300px;\" src=\"https:\/\/dgs-1def7.kxcdn.com\/wp-content\/themes\/divorce-girl-smiling\/images\/mydivorcesolution-cta.jpg?v4\" alt=\"My Divorce Solution\" width=\"275\" height=\"275\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>In other words, before you start saying <a href=\"https:\/\/www.michaelsmediation.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">\u201cI need to get divorced,<\/a> then I\u2019ll be happy,\u201d start with yourself. How can you get happy? What can you do? Who can help you? In addition to professionals, maybe the help you need getting happy is sitting right in your family room: the man or woman you married two decades ago. Maybe HE\/SHE isn\u2019t the problem. Maybe YOU are.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>The happy person: <\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>There is nothing you can do to make the other person happy. He\/she has to do it themselves. All you can do is communicate and offer support. You are helpless to someone else\u2019s unhappiness. So, keep being happy!! Enjoy your job, your kids, your social life, everything that makes you happy! You aren\u2019t doing anything wrong by being happy!<\/p>\n<h2>Like this article? Check out <a title=\"How Divorce Changes a Woman: 9 More Things I Learned\" href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\/how-divorce-changes-a-woman-9-more-things-i-learned\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u201cHow Divorce Changes a Woman: 9 More Things I Learned in My Divorce\u201d<\/a><\/h2>\n<p>The post <a href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\/one-big-reason-marriages-fail\/\">One Big Reason Why Marriages Fail<\/a> appeared first on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\">Divorce Blog | Divorce Support Blogs<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com\/one-big-reason-marriages-fail\/\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/contact-us\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-14\" src=\"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/footer-300x100.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/footer-300x100.png 300w, https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/footer-150x50.png 150w, https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/footer.png 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><center><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: 0;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/maps\/embed?pb=!1m18!1m12!1m3!1d2476.5079014266626!2d-0.17814168422544607!3d51.6322229796558!2m3!1f0!2f0!3f0!3m2!1i1024!2i768!4f13.1!3m3!1m2!1s0x0%3A0xa69992b831f15d4a!2sDominic+Levent+Solicitors!5e0!3m2!1sen!2suk!4v1529480690358\" width=\"600\" height=\"450\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/center>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><center><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: 0px #ffffff none;\" src=\"https:\/\/calendar.google.com\/calendar\/embed?src=sc635csnrm8h9s9lq0cad6vkss@group.calendar.google.com\" name=\"myiFrame\" width=\"600px\" height=\"3px\" frameborder=\"1\" marginwidth=\"0px\" marginheight=\"0px\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/center>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><center><\/center><\/p>\n<div>\n<div><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.dominiclevent.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/Business_Solicitors_London.jpg\" width=\"600\" \/><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div>Dominic Levent Solicitors<\/div>\n<div>Email: Enquiries@dominiclevent.com<\/div>\n<div>Phone: 020 8347 6640<\/div>\n<div>Url: https:\/\/www.dominiclevent.com<\/div>\n<div style=\"display: none;\">cash, check, credit card, invoice<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>\n<div>1345 High Rd<\/div>\n<div>London, London N20 9HR<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This might sound trite, but a common clich\u00e9 is \u201cyou have to be happy with yourself before you are going to be happy with someone else.\u201d Yes, that is true, but what happens when two people were happy, they got married, and then some life change causes one of the people to be unhappy, spiral &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/one-big-reason-why-marriages-fail\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;One Big Reason Why Marriages Fail&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-236875","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news1","entry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>One Big Reason Why Marriages Fail - Dominic Levent Solicitors Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/one-big-reason-why-marriages-fail\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"One Big Reason Why Marriages Fail - Dominic Levent Solicitors Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This might sound trite, but a common clich\u00e9 is \u201cyou have to be happy with yourself before you are going to be happy with someone else.\u201d Yes, that is true, but what happens when two people were happy, they got married, and then some life change causes one of the people to be unhappy, spiral &hellip; 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