{"id":237949,"date":"2024-08-26T13:23:46","date_gmt":"2024-08-26T13:23:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=237949"},"modified":"2024-08-26T13:25:31","modified_gmt":"2024-08-26T13:25:31","slug":"divorce-and-children-how-to-answer-those-tough-questions-they-ask","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/divorce-and-children-how-to-answer-those-tough-questions-they-ask\/","title":{"rendered":"Divorce and Children: How to Answer Those Tough Questions They Ask"},"content":{"rendered":"

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When it comes to divorce and children, there is nothing more gut-wrenchingly sad than when your child, wide-eyed and hopeful, asks you this question: \u201cAre you and dad ever going to get back together<\/a>?\u201d<\/p>\n

These and other divorce questions from kids can feel like a punch in the stomach<\/a>, causing anxiety, guilt and sorrow. There are no magical answers to your kids\u2019 questions because a divorce is undoubtedly very difficult for any child. But the silver lining is, if you put some thought into how you answer these difficult questions, if you have an unselfish attitude by filtering your answers, and if you end every answer with \u201cWe both love you,\u201d it makes the sting a lot more manageable.<\/p>\n

When it comes to children and divorce, here are six common questions kids ask after a divorce, and suggestions on how to answer them.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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\"Our<\/a><\/p>\n

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1. Why did you and mom\/dad get divorced?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Because your dad was cheating on me. Because your mom drinks too much wine<\/a>. Because dad and I can\u2019t stand each other and we don\u2019t want to live together anymore. This is what you are probably feeling and what you\u2019d like to scream at the top of your lungs. The fact is, you can\u2019t.<\/p>\n

A better way to answer this very difficult question is by saying something like this: \u201cYour dad\/mom and I once loved each other very much, but people change and people grow apart. Neither of us wanted that to happen, but it did. We tried very hard to work things out, but in the end, we both felt it was better. What hasn\u2019t changed is that your dad and I still love you, and both of us will always be here for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

2. Do you still love mommy\/daddy?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

You might and you might not. If you do still love your ex<\/a>, you might want to say, \u201cThere is a part of me that will always love your mom\/dad. We share so much history, and most importantly, we share you. I will always love him\/her for giving me you.\u201d If you don\u2019t feel like you can honestly say something like that, you could answer, \u201cI don\u2019t love your mom\/dad in the same way I used to. I respect him\/her and I think he\/she is a good mother\/father. But now we are just going to be partners in parenting and hopefully good friends, some day.\u201d<\/p>\n

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\"Redefine<\/a><\/p>\n

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3. Why do we have to be the only kids who have two houses?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kids often feel like they don\u2019t know any other kids whose parents are divorced, which we all know isn\u2019t the case. The best answer makes it clear that they aren\u2019t alone, and that there are lots of other kids in their same situation. Make sure to tell them, \u201cWe are still a family. We might not be the traditional family, but we have love and warmth and security in our home, and you have those same things in your mom\u2019s\/dad\u2019s home. You aren\u2019t \u2018different.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0Will you and mom\/dad ever get remarried?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

When it comes to children and divorce, be firm on this one. No need to give a child false hopes. \u201cNo. Your mom\/dad and I will never be remarried. But we both love you very, very much and we will both always be here for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

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\"The<\/a><\/p>\n

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5.\u00a0Why does mom\/dad hate you?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Because he\/she is a bitter, unhappy person who can\u2019t let go of the past! Sound like something you want to say? Don\u2019t! Instead, go with, \u201cMom\/dad is very angry right now, mostly at the situation, not at me. Give him\/her some time and hopefully he\/she will act a little friendlier towards me. The most important thing for you to focus on is that mom\/dad loves you. <\/em><\/p>\n

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