{"id":244239,"date":"2024-11-22T14:51:28","date_gmt":"2024-11-22T14:51:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=244239"},"modified":"2025-12-19T10:17:44","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T10:17:44","slug":"enjoying-the-holidays-despite-your-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/enjoying-the-holidays-despite-your-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"Enjoying the Holidays Despite Your Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Enjoying the holidays can feel like a lot of pressure. Especially if you are newly separated, separated or divorced. <\/a>Or, if you have been divorced for awhile, but are still negotiating holidays with a difficult ex-spouse. In any of these scenarios, you are not alone in that you\u2019re anticipating the upcoming holidays with dread instead of enjoying the holidays.<\/p>\n

How can you navigate the season for you and your children without despair? As I tell my clients often, it\u2019s achievable, but not easy. However, with a few shifts in perspective, and good planning, it is possible to create a holiday season that works for you and your children and actually allows you to enjoy the holidays. It is necessary to plan and it is important to prioritize yourself too.<\/p>\n

Change your perspective and define what you want this holiday season<\/strong><\/h3>\n

My clients have diverse backgrounds and experiences in separation and divorce but all have a common underlying concern: they anticipated difficulty for themselves and their children during a season that was \u201csupposed to be\u201d full of joy. They couldn\u2019t imagine how they could make the season what it \u201cused to be\u201d for themselves and their families. It was, in fact, way too much pressure.<\/p>\n

Rather than allowing yourself to be \u201cstuck in the story\u201d, I recommend focusing on what you want from the season. Notice I don\u2019t emphasize recalling \u201chow it used to be,\u201d rather I encourage clients to define \u201cwhat it could be.\u201d With this subtle shift in perspective, I want them to own the outcome they\u2019re looking for.<\/p>\n

When I ask them to share their thoughts, I often hear lots of comments about simplifying and not trying to do everything which is a great way to limit the pressure and subsequent feelings of frustration or disappointment. Instead, select a few key meaningful ways you can engage with your children and do not allow the demands of others to intrude upon these plans.<\/p>\n

Really, this approach is not so different from the intentions many of us had before separation and divorce; you just may have done these subconsciously. The difference now, it seems, is that you have to account for and plan time with the other parent, and their family, and you may need to spend time figuring out how to make the moments you have with your kids fulfilling.<\/p>\n

Planning and setting intentions can limit escalated emotions during the holidays<\/strong><\/h3>\n

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\"Redefine<\/a><\/p>\n

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Below are a few tools to lower the heightened feelings around what may occur:<\/p>\n