{"id":252051,"date":"2025-03-05T08:19:18","date_gmt":"2025-03-05T08:19:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=252051"},"modified":"2025-03-05T08:19:18","modified_gmt":"2025-03-05T08:19:18","slug":"the-golden-rules-for-getting-a-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/the-golden-rules-for-getting-a-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"The golden rules for getting a divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Prepare for the conversation<\/strong><\/p>\n

While it may be tempting to leap on the breakup bandwagon after a hot cross summer, knowing the perfect time to file for divorce is a complex question. Feltham says she often spends up to an hour helping people pick the right time to have the conversation.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe big thing I\u2019m looking for here is if I feel there is a safety risk,\u201d she says. \u201cIf I don\u2019t think the parties are at risk then I talk them through my basics: ensuring that there are no \u2018little ears\u2019 around; using clear and kind language; and having an immediate plan for where you will both be following the decision.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Tell the children<\/strong><\/p>\n

When it\u2019s time to tell the children, Feltham says she always encourages clients to have the discussion with the children together, showing a united parenting front and demonstrating they are loved and safe.<\/p>\n

\u201cRemember that it is not divorce that causes trauma in children, it\u2019s the infighting between the parents. It is easy to let the hurt slip into your parenting, so it\u2019s important that parents understand that they are in charge of shaping the experience for their children.\u201d<\/p>\n

Consider a coach<\/strong><\/p>\n

Feeling overwhelmed by your pending divorce? It might be worth considering hiring a divorce coach. A coach will support you through the process, offering practical step-by-step assistance with the logistical aspects and emotional support in a safe space.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cSeparation is the second most stressful life event a person can experience,\u201d says Feltham. \u201cGet the emotional support you need early; this will help you remain clear headed and make decisions you are proud of 12 months down the line.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018What I wish I\u2019d known\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n

Catherine Cervasio from Melbourne divorced her husband after 11 years of marriage.<\/p>\n

\u201cI did not prepare at all. I had been optimistic that our marriage would improve and that with support, we would survive,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\u201cThere are things I would have done differently with the benefit of hindsight.”<\/p>\n

Catherine Cervasio says her husband was a director of her skincare company Aromababy when she filed for divorce. They were in court for years afterwards.<\/p>\n

\u201cI rushed into meeting with a lawyer, thinking it was the \u2018right\u2019 thing to do. I think I cried during every meeting,\u201d Cervasio says.<\/p>\n

Engaging a lawyer is better left until you\u2019ve had some time to process the situation and have some clarity. Choose your lawyer carefully, perhaps through a recommendation from someone who has had a positive experience. Feeling totally comfortable with your legal representation is critical.<\/p>\n

If you have a business, ensure you set it up in the most appropriate way in the event you go your separate ways. At the time Catherine separated, her husband was still a director of her skincare company and they ended up in court for three years over it.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Nurturing yourself and taking time to let go of the pain is also important in separation. It\u2019s important to allow yourself time to grieve.<\/p>\n

You will also need your own bank account, your own credit card, a new will, and a new email address for divorce correspondence.<\/p>\n

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