{"id":258279,"date":"2025-07-08T08:49:10","date_gmt":"2025-07-08T08:49:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=258279"},"modified":"2025-07-08T08:49:10","modified_gmt":"2025-07-08T08:49:10","slug":"vanessa-feltzs-guilt-over-divorce-i-shouldve-shielded-my-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/vanessa-feltzs-guilt-over-divorce-i-shouldve-shielded-my-children\/","title":{"rendered":"Vanessa Feltz’s guilt over divorce – ‘I should’ve shielded my children’"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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As Vanessa Feltz and daughter Saskia Joss launch their podcast on helping children with anxiety, the former This Morning star reflects on her traumatic divorce from Michael Kurer<\/h2>\n
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07:00, 05 Jul 2025<\/span>Updated 10:08, 05 Jul 2025<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Vanessa’s divorce from the father of her children was unexpected and heartbreaking.<\/span><\/div>\n

There\u2019s little we haven\u2019t seen Vanessa Feltz<\/a> tackle in more than 35 years as one of Britain\u2019s best-known TV personalities, from her high-profile divorce from surgeon Michael Kurer<\/a>, the father of her two daughters, to her mental health crisis in the Celebrity Big Brother house<\/a> and her split from Ben Ofoedu in January 2023<\/a> after 16 years together. But her ability to pick herself up and brush herself off has rarely been in doubt.<\/p>\n

Now 63, the star is showing us another side of herself as she takes on a new role as podcast co-host with her youngest daughter Saskia Joss, 35, who\u2019s a child therapist<\/a> and author of Help! My Child\u2019s Anxiety Is Giving Me Anxiety<\/em> . In this exclusive chat with OK!,<\/em> Vanessa and Saskia discuss finding common ground on the podcast and some of the family\u2019s toughest moments over the last three decades.<\/p>\n

READ MORE: Louise Thompson’s ‘incredibly comfortable\u2019 Ugg mules are perfect for flying in<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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What\u2019s it like working together for the first time?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Vanessa:<\/strong> Fantastic, and unexpected. Neither she nor I ever dreamed in a million years we\u2019d work together. We\u2019re in completely unrelated fields. Saskia qualified as a primary school teacher, then a children\u2019s therapist. So this is a bonus.<\/p>\n

Saskia:<\/strong> I agree. I refer to mum on most things because she\u2019s extremely capable \u2013 a successful business person, stylish, good at home design, everything. There are few things I wouldn\u2019t ask her opinion about, so it\u2019s surprising to have this role reversal, where she\u2019s asking me what I think.<\/p>\n

What have you learnt so far from Saskia?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Vanessa:<\/strong> Well, 500 children a day in this country are referred to mental health services with anxiety. There seems to be such an epidemic, and with Saskia\u2019s experience this felt like the right thing to do. She\u2019s already had so many people reach out since the podcast started, wanting help, floundering with their child\u2019s chronic anxiety. Children with anxiety give parents anxiety. It\u2019s a big thing.<\/p>\n

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Saskia says her mum is the GOAT of grandmothers.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Saskia, your mum shares experiences of her own childhood as well as parenting you and Allegra, 37. Has it been enlightening?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Saskia:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting to hear how certain things have impacted her career and her anxieties. She\u2019s been very willing to assess her own mistakes in a way that most don\u2019t want to, and certainly not publicly. I get to be the expert but she brings this vulnerable, quite rare quality of being happy to critique herself.<\/p>\n

Vanessa, you became a single parent when the girls were very young. Did that change anything?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Vanessa:<\/strong> It united us. I did as good a job as I could. I just wanted them to know they were safe \u2013 that if there were things I couldn\u2019t do, like change a tyre or work the burglar alarm, I\u2019d find someone who would show me. I grasped the idea that they could feel vulnerable or worried. It was up to me to make sure they didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Saskia:<\/strong> We are a very tight unit. When bad things were happening, we just got closer. We\u2019re a triumfeminate of women! If we have the chance, we\u2019ll hang out. We really get on and love each other.<\/p>\n

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Vanessa and Michael divorced when Allegra and Saskia were young<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Vanessa, we don\u2019t imagine you were a strict mum?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Vanessa:<\/strong> I wasn\u2019t big on saying no. I didn\u2019t punish them, I was very laissez-faire. Do I regret it? Not really. They\u2019ve grown up to be lovely people, lovely parents.<\/p>\n

Is there anything you regret?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Vanessa: <\/strong>When I got divorced after their father left me, I think I was too open with them about information and how I was feeling. I probably should have shielded them from that more than I did.<\/p>\n

Do you agree with that, Saskia?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Saskia:<\/strong> Did she talk about it a lot? Yes. But more so because she was famous and people were intrigued. Even on the days she didn\u2019t want to talk about it, she\u2019d have to. Someone at the supermarket would say, \u201cOh Vanessa, what\u2019s happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

It can\u2019t<\/strong> always have been easy growing up with a famous mum\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

Saskia:<\/strong> We\u2019ve all had a lot of therapy! I think the big thing about a famous parent is a lot of what you do isn\u2019t anonymous. That\u2019s weird<\/a> in your teenage years, when you just want to fit in. Luckily, people were always very nice about it.<\/p>\n

Vanessa:<\/strong> The public side isn\u2019t always nice but there were lots of benefits, not least I could pay the bills. We also got to go to film premieres and parties. They got to meet the Spice Girls.<\/p>\n

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Vanessa was already a household name when her daughters were growing up.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Has much changed since you were bringing up Saskia and Allegra?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Vanessa:<\/strong> I remember when I was about five, there was a boy clearly unable to go into school. I remember him clinging to the door of a car and biting the headmaster on the leg. He wasn\u2019t being naughty, he was terrified. It turned out after extensive therapy \u2013 which nobody really had in the sixties \u2013 that both his grandparents died while he was in school, so he was scared his family would die if he went. Anxiety existed, it just wasn\u2019t spoken about in the same way.<\/p>\n

We assume even more has changed since you were growing up?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Vanessa:<\/strong> I was raised in a different era. I don\u2019t think anyone cared what you thought or felt. You were just told to get on with it. One summer I was invited by a friend to stay with her and her parents in their holiday home in Frinton-on-Sea. I was terribly excited and my mother drove me there. That night I had separation anxiety, I missed my family. I started to cry and couldn\u2019t stop. I was delivered back home the following day by the father, by train.<\/p>\n

How did that go down at home?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Vanessa:<\/strong> My parents punished me for the entire summer. They said, \u201cThere\u2019s nothing organised for you to do, you\u2019re not supposed to be here.\u201d I was only meant to be in Frinton for a week, but it felt as if the punishment lasted months, of me being told, \u201cYou\u2019re a failure because you failed to enjoy this wonderful thing.\u201d That\u2019s pretty harsh parenting, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

Saskia:<\/strong> It was very different for us. Mum always said that if something isn\u2019t nice, just come home. I did a summer camp in America and I wasn\u2019t enjoying the atmosphere. She called and said, \u201cIf you don\u2019t like it, come home. We\u2019ll find you nice things to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Your kids are lucky to have Vanessa as a grandma, too…<\/strong><\/p>\n

Saskia:<\/strong> She\u2019s the GOAT [greatest of all time] of grandmas. Our fairy grandmother. She teaches all the rudest songs, the cheekiest things she remembers from her school days, brings all the chocolates and films that are probably a bit too old for them. They all adore her.<\/p>\n

Vanessa:<\/strong> I do love everything about being a grandma. I love hanging out with them, it\u2019s a win-win for me.<\/p>\n

Saskia:<\/strong> She literally carries around a handbag every day with their faces on the side, and has done for 10 years. We get her a new one every Christmas<\/a>, updated with a new photo of the children. She carries her grandchildren with her, literally, figuratively, emotionally and in fabric form.<\/p>\n

* Help! My Child\u2019s Anxious is available on Global Player and all major podcast platforms.<\/em><\/p>\n

Like this story? For more of the latest showbiz news and gossip, follow Mirror Celebs on<\/strong> <\/em>TikTok<\/strong> <\/em><\/a>,<\/strong> <\/em>Snapchat<\/strong> <\/em><\/a>,<\/strong> <\/em>Instagram<\/strong> <\/em><\/a>,<\/strong> <\/em>Twitter<\/strong> <\/em><\/a>,<\/strong> <\/em>Facebook<\/strong> <\/em><\/a>,<\/strong> <\/em>YouTube<\/strong> <\/em><\/a>and<\/strong> <\/em>Threads<\/strong> <\/em><\/a>.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n