{"id":259850,"date":"2025-07-29T08:58:54","date_gmt":"2025-07-29T08:58:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=259850"},"modified":"2025-07-29T08:58:54","modified_gmt":"2025-07-29T08:58:54","slug":"navigating-menopause-and-divorce-together","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/navigating-menopause-and-divorce-together\/","title":{"rendered":"Navigating menopause and divorce together"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Paula Crowhurst,<\/a> founder of Polly Bloom the Divorce and Separation Coach<\/a>, explores her experience of going through the menopause and divorce at the same time. She hopes to offer support, some wise words, and validation for anyone dealing with both major life transitions.<\/p>\n

I never imagined menopause and divorce would team up and crash into my life like hormonal wrecking balls at almost exactly the same time. Turning fifty, I was mostly worried about middle-aged spread; not being spectacularly ghosted by my then husband after 27 years of marriage, who was having an affair. You know, the usual midlife concerns: \u201cWill I need bigger jeans?\u201d and not \u201cWill I need a lawyer?\u201d<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t pretend to be an expert on menopause.\u00a0 This is my story, shared in the hope that it helps others feel seen, heard, and less alone and just in case you\u2019re out there navigating similar chaos, wondering if you\u2019re the only one Googling \u201cwhy do I feel like a volatile volcano of hormones and heartbreak?\u201d at 2.00am.<\/p>\n

The Silent Collision\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong><\/h2>\n

Menopause didn\u2019t knock politely. It crept in slowly at first with perimenopause; irregular periods, night sweats (questioning whether it was due to the outside temperature in the summer months)\u00a0 mood changes, sleep disturbance and a body that felt like it wasn\u2019t mine anymore. I brushed it off as stress. Then came the divorce. A different kind of loss; identity, sense of purpose, partnership, the future I had pictured.<\/p>\n

What I didn\u2019t realise until much later was how deeply these experiences amplified each other. The emotional weight of divorce made the hormonal swings of menopause harder to bear. The physical changes from menopause made it harder to feel grounded or strong while going through separation. It wasn\u2019t just grief; it was transformation, in every direction.<\/p>\n

Hormonal fluctuations can heighten feelings of sadness, anxiety, vulnerability, irritability \u2026 while the psychological strain of divorce can worsen menopausal symptoms. And it\u2019s difficult to see the wood from the trees.<\/p>\n

During menopause the brain undergoes significant structural (emotionally and cognitively) and functioning changes as it adapts to shifting hormone levels.<\/p>\n

Estrogen; the so-called \u201cfeel-good\u201d hormone takes a nosedive during menopause, messing with your sleep, mood, memory, and general ability to function like a coherent adult. Progesterone, her calming counterpart, quietly exits stage left, leaving you wide-eyed at 3 a.m., replaying every text your ex ever sent.<\/p>\n

Their drop leads to re-organisation of mood, regulation, sleep patterns, memory processing and brain energy use.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, cortisol (a.k.a. your stress hormone) shows up like it\u2019s the boss. High levels of it not only mess with your brain but encourage fat to throw a party around your waistline. Great. Just what I needed: betrayal and a belly. It turns out the stress of divorce doesn\u2019t just break your heart; it also invites carbs to take up permanent residence in your midsection.<\/p>\n

Realising I Wasn\u2019t \u201cJust Emotional\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n

There was a time I honestly thought I was losing the plot.\u00a0 I questioned everything about myself.\u00a0 Was I overreacting? Was I broken? Why couldn\u2019t I \u201cbounce back\u201d? Only when I started talking to others and learning more did I realise that I was navigating two life-altering transitions at once, and that my experience was valid<\/em>.<\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t talked about enough. The intersection of menopause and divorce is rarely acknowledged. But it\u2019s real, and it\u2019s heavy.<\/p>\n

Some women may feel a sense of loss over their fertility or connection to younger, more reproductive versions of themselves.\u00a0 The changes such as weight gain, skin dryness, hair loss, etc. can affect how they view their attractiveness or femininity.\u00a0 They may believe that this has contributed to why their husband\/partner has upped and left.<\/p>\n

But others, and I\u2019d count myself among them now, eventually find it\u2019s liberating; a time of power. A reset.\u00a0 They feel more confident and wiser, no longer defined solely by their role as wife, mother and monthly cycles. They rediscover their passions and purpose, embracing newfound freedom. This may lead them to explore new hobbies or revisit activities they once loved.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s about embracing this phase and shifting your perspective. It represents a threshold, not a conclusion.<\/p>\n

In the words of Donna Ashworth:<\/p>\n

\u201cWe struggle to recognise who we are anymore, <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

but the trick is to stop looking for what was <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

and start seeing the new\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The Importance of Support<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Honestly, I think what saved me were the quiet acts of kindness; the texts from friends, the gentle nods from women who just got it<\/em>, and the therapist who said, \u201cYou\u2019ve been through a huge thing.\u201d (Which felt validating enough that I cried as I drove home.)<\/p>\n

Online stories helped too. Someone else\u2019s post might make you laugh or cry or just go, \u201cOh wow, me too.\u201d And suddenly the mountain feels less like Everest and instead a more gentle slope.<\/p>\n

Word to the wise: be picky about the energy you surround yourself with. Avoid groups that spend three hours moaning and one minute moving forward. Surround yourself with radiators, not drains. You want warmth, not someone else\u2019s cold shower of bitterness.<\/p>\n

Therapists, divorce coaches, and counsellors can provide valuable support as you navigate this emotional landscape. Additionally, there is an abundance of information and resources available regarding menopause now more than ever. Remember, you don\u2019t have to face it alone.<\/p>\n

As well as being a divorce coach, I am a clinical hypnotherapist.\u00a0\u00a0 I know that hypnotherapy can be a powerful supportive tool especially for managing symptoms tied to stress, sleep, weight and mood. It helps the nervous system shift from fight or flight into a calmer, more balanced state.\u00a0 Remember, the aim is to lower those cortisol levels!<\/p>\n

Journaling is beneficial too because by writing it down it offloads mental clutter.\u00a0 It helps to process emotions like irritability, overwhelm and sadness.\u00a0 It also boosts emotional awareness.\u00a0 I also like to use journaling as a gauge.\u00a0 A way to track, reflect and adjust over time.<\/p>\n

Support won\u2019t fix everything. But it will hold your hand while you patch things back together.<\/p>\n