Separating families in far more humble circumstances than the Markles face the same dilemmas.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Take the case of a hard-pressed family in urban Britain facing a bitter divorce. Both the adults at the centre know they need to find solutions about where they\u2019ll both will live, how the money and debt will be shared, and what arrangements will be made for the kids. They\u2019ll no doubt both have fixed ideas about what those solutions will look like, with their own wellbeing as the focus, and with compromise far from the top of their respective agendas.<\/span><\/p>\n That family\u2019s situation feels a million miles from the feud between a princess and her father. But essentially the dilemma is identical \u2013<\/span> neither seems prepared to trust the other\u2019s intentions or actions.<\/span><\/p>\n In both cases there\u2019s been a serious breakdown of trust, with those at the heart of the stressful disputes tending to dig themselves in to an entrenched position.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n In my view, basing my observations on what I\u2019ve read this summer, I think Thomas needs to think seriously about the relationship he wants in future with his daughter in her completely-changed situation.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n She now inhabits a completely different world, having made choices about her own future and thus placing herself into completely different circumstances. Presumably Meghan and Harry will be looking to start a family in due course. What sort of position is Thomas going to be in as a grandfather if things remain as they seem at present?\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Does he want a relationship as a grandfather with his grandchildren and his daughter? And does Meghan want a future family to include her dad in any way, shape or form? For the child\u2019s benefit as much as her own or Thomas\u2019s?<\/span><\/p>\n If the answer to these questions is \u2018yes\u2019, then how can they successfully get from painful \u2018A\u2019 to satisfactory \u2018B\u2019?<\/span><\/p>\n Conducting negotiations and emotional outcries through the global media cannot be the way forward \u2013 just as making angry statements to friends, perhaps via social media, isn\u2019t the way for the separating couple to shape sensible solutions to their own disputes.<\/span><\/p>\n Instead, the separating couple, just like the Markles, need to get past the upset and the grief, and agree they\u2019re going to talk together. The only way through is to get together, in a room \u2013 preferably with an independent third party mediator – to work out together what they will do in the future.<\/span><\/p>\n Mediators deal with families falling out on a daily basis. Firstly, disputing families need to get past the upset and grief, and agree they\u2019ll talk to each other and try and resolve the conflicts they\u2019re experiencing.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Without this they face being stuck in a rut for a long, long time.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n NFM is ready to mediate for family disputes, whether they involve members of royalty or the thousands of feuding families simmering with resentment up and down the country.<\/span><\/p>\n Whatever has happened already is in the past. The future must be the focus. Sitting together in a room with as open a mind as possible is the hardest thing in the world following a family dispute. And it\u2019s the most important.<\/span>\n <\/p>\n<\/div>\n
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