{"id":817,"date":"2017-03-01T08:16:53","date_gmt":"2017-03-01T08:16:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/?p=817"},"modified":"2019-04-17T17:19:46","modified_gmt":"2019-04-17T17:19:46","slug":"not-hiring-a-lawyer-refusing-to-negotiate-and-bringing-the-kids-into-it-expert-shares-the-biggest","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/not-hiring-a-lawyer-refusing-to-negotiate-and-bringing-the-kids-into-it-expert-shares-the-biggest\/","title":{"rendered":"Not hiring a lawyer, refusing to negotiate and bringing the kids into it: Expert shares the biggest &#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div itemprop=\"articleBody\">\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">Divorce can be a tricky &#8211; and expensive &#8211; experience, and adding children into the mix only makes the process more stressful.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">With more than 48,000 divorces recorded in 2015, and just under half of those involving children, Divorce Answered&#8217;s Rachael Scharrer\u00a0says it&#8217;s important people know what they&#8217;re getting in to.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">The Sydney-based mother explained the five biggest mistakes people make while they&#8217;re going through a divorce, which can often have lasting implications. \u00a0<\/p>\n<div class=\"artSplitter mol-img-group\">\n<div class=\"mol-img\">\n    <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"i-f8387df9291322f4\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"http:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/i\/pix\/2017\/03\/01\/03\/3DD2E2A300000578-4269848-image-a-12_1488337957545.jpg\" height=\"991\" width=\"634\" alt=\"Expert: After going through her own divorce, Sydney mother Rachael Scharrer became an expert on the subject, and created online resources for others to use\" class=\"blkBorder img-share\" \/><noscript><br \/>\n      <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"i-f8387df9291322f4\" src=\"http:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/i\/pix\/2017\/03\/01\/03\/3DD2E2A300000578-4269848-image-a-12_1488337957545.jpg\" height=\"991\" width=\"634\" alt=\"Expert: After going through her own divorce, Sydney mother Rachael Scharrer became an expert on the subject, and created online resources for others to use\" class=\"blkBorder img-share\" \/><\/noscript><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"imageCaption\">Expert: After going through her own divorce, Sydney mother Rachael Scharrer became an expert on the subject, and created online resources for others to use<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font mol-style-medium femail-ccox mol-style-bold\">NOT HIRING A LAWYER<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">Ms Scharrer says even if you are representing yourself in court, advice from a lawyer is invaluable &#8211; as some judges are less forgiving than others.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">&#8216;It&#8217;s important to know what information is relevant and useful to bring to court as judges&#8217; patience can wear thin quite quickly,&#8217; she explained.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">&#8216;If you cannot afford a full time lawyer on your case, then consider asking one to check over and provide advice on documentation like letters, proposals and agreements before forwarding it to the other party.&#8217;<\/p>\n<div class=\"artSplitter mol-img-group\">\n<div class=\"mol-img\">\n    <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"i-53d53006c8cdf23f\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"http:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/i\/pix\/2017\/03\/01\/03\/3DD2FA5A00000578-4269848-image-a-13_1488337962414.jpg\" height=\"423\" width=\"634\" alt=\"Lawyer up: Ms Scharrer says it's important to have qualified legal counsel on side, even if it's just to give your own work a once over before court\u00a0\" class=\"blkBorder img-share\" \/><noscript><br \/>\n      <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"i-53d53006c8cdf23f\" src=\"http:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/i\/pix\/2017\/03\/01\/03\/3DD2FA5A00000578-4269848-image-a-13_1488337962414.jpg\" height=\"423\" width=\"634\" alt=\"Lawyer up: Ms Scharrer says it's important to have qualified legal counsel on side, even if it's just to give your own work a once over before court\u00a0\" class=\"blkBorder img-share\" \/><\/noscript><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"imageCaption\">Lawyer up: Ms Scharrer says it&#8217;s important to have qualified legal counsel on side, even if it&#8217;s just to give your own work a once over before court\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font mol-style-bold mol-style-medium femail-ccox\">REFUSING TO NEGOTIATE<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">By refusing to enter into negotiations, you could just be cheating yourself, so Ms Scharrer says it&#8217;s important to participate.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">It&#8217;s easy to be steamrolled though, with the divorce expert warning against letting feelings get in the way of a fair deal.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">She also warns against withholding funds from your spouse, as it could backfire greatly.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">&#8216;The judge and mediator will not look kindly upon this because it is considered a form of domestic violence and financial abuse,&#8217; she said.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font femail-ccox mol-style-medium mol-style-bold\">GETTING THE KIDS INVOLVED<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">The divorce expert strongly advises parents refrain from getting their children caught up in the middle of the divorce, whether that be by using them as a therapist or manipulating them into taking a side.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">Ms Scharrer says parents should be mindful of the words they use about their former partner.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">&#8216;Not denigrating the other party is a common parenting court order,&#8217; she explained.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">&#8216;Ensure that children are allowed to be kids and protect them from any adversity between the parents and the new situation.&#8217;<\/p>\n<div class=\"artSplitter mol-img-group\">\n<div class=\"mol-img\">\n    <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"i-49f2489a7fde33c1\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"http:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/i\/pix\/2017\/03\/01\/03\/3DD2EAD500000578-4269848-image-a-15_1488338002691.jpg\" height=\"423\" width=\"634\" alt=\"Leave the kids alone: Don't force children to take a side or use them to pass on messages between parents\" class=\"blkBorder img-share\" \/><noscript><br \/>\n      <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"i-49f2489a7fde33c1\" src=\"http:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/i\/pix\/2017\/03\/01\/03\/3DD2EAD500000578-4269848-image-a-15_1488338002691.jpg\" height=\"423\" width=\"634\" alt=\"Leave the kids alone: Don't force children to take a side or use them to pass on messages between parents\" class=\"blkBorder img-share\" \/><\/noscript><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"imageCaption\">Leave the kids alone: Don&#8217;t force children to take a side or use them to pass on messages between parents<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font femail-ccox mol-style-medium mol-style-bold\">RUNNING UP A LARGE BILL<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">Making the most of your last days with a joint account is an ill-advised idea &#8211; especially because it could encourage your partner to do the same.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">Underhanded tactics could also work against you in court, with judges often taking a dim view of such spending.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">\u00a0Ms Scharrer also warns against spending too much on a lawyer, noting even bankruptcy won&#8217;t save you from legal fees.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">&#8216;If you declare bankruptcy, your legal fees and child support are not excused,&#8217; she said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">&#8216;All legal fees will need to be paid eventually.&#8217;<\/p>\n<div class=\"artSplitter mol-img-group\">\n<div class=\"mol-img\">\n    <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"i-85c035069a7348ed\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" data-src=\"http:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/i\/pix\/2017\/03\/01\/03\/3DD2FA5600000578-4269848-image-a-14_1488337979537.jpg\" height=\"423\" width=\"634\" alt=\"Lay off the credit card: Running up a big bill before the divorced is finalised, or spending too much on a lawyer could backfire horribly, Ms Scharrer says\" class=\"blkBorder img-share\" \/><noscript><br \/>\n      <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"i-85c035069a7348ed\" src=\"http:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/i\/pix\/2017\/03\/01\/03\/3DD2FA5600000578-4269848-image-a-14_1488337979537.jpg\" height=\"423\" width=\"634\" alt=\"Lay off the credit card: Running up a big bill before the divorced is finalised, or spending too much on a lawyer could backfire horribly, Ms Scharrer says\" class=\"blkBorder img-share\" \/><\/noscript><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"imageCaption\">Lay off the credit card: Running up a big bill before the divorced is finalised, or spending too much on a lawyer could backfire horribly, Ms Scharrer says<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font mol-style-bold femail-ccox mol-style-medium\">PLAYING THE VICTIM<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">Though divorce is a difficult and sometimes lengthy process, our divorce expert advises those going through the process not to give in completely.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">&#8216;Signing everything over to an ex-spouse is generous but also defeatist,&#8217; Ms Scharrer explained, adding: &#8216;This is not a fair and equitable outcome for you.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">She says as you get older, recreating the financial security you once had could prove difficult, so it&#8217;s important to stand your ground.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"mol-para-with-font\">&#8216;Everyone requires some sort of financial security including the ability to rent, obtain and service a loan and have funds saved for a rainy day, in the event of redundancy, illness or family concerns,&#8217; she said.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.dailymail.co.uk\/femail\/article-4269848\/Divorce-expert-shares-biggest-mistakes-people-make.html\">Source link <\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/contact-us\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/footer-300x100.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"200\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-14\" srcset=\"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/footer-300x100.png 300w, 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shares the biggest &#8230;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-817","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","entry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Not hiring a lawyer, refusing to negotiate and bringing the kids into it: Expert shares the biggest ... - Dominic Levent Solicitors Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dominiclevent.com\/blog\/not-hiring-a-lawyer-refusing-to-negotiate-and-bringing-the-kids-into-it-expert-shares-the-biggest\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" 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