‘All I want is for this nightmare to be over’: 8 people reveal why they’re considering a divorce

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There are many reasons why a marriage might end in divorce (Picture: Liberty Antonia Sadler for Metro.co.uk)

I recently befriended a man who has an open marriage.

Although I couldn’t imagine this particular scenario for myself, it made me curious about marriage as a whole.

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As the saying goes, half of all marriages end in divorce. Technically, it’s more like 42%, but I guess we’re a glass half empty kind of folk.

To make matters worse, according to the international law firm Withers, there are currently 2.2 million married people in the UK, who are seriously considering a divorce.

But, what is it exactly that is driving people to say ‘I don’t’ and walking out the door, shortly after walking down the aisle?

These eight people reveal why they’re considering a divorce.

Fair warning, if you’re loved up and about to get married, stop reading and walk away, now.

Ellie, 32, London, works in fashion

We’ve both had difficulties adjusting to the birth of our first and only child.

Our baby is 11 months now and since the birth, our relationship hasn’t been the same.

Neither of us is getting much sleep and I’ve been stressed about going back to work after maternity leave. My husband is also very distant, often staying late at work and making plans wherever possible, so that he doesn’t have to come home.

And, when he does show his face, he avoids interacting with me or the baby.

We’ve even starting sleeping in different rooms, so I can’t see our situation improving anytime soon.

I want the best for our family, for us to become a solid family unit, but it’s going to take work and I’m not sure either of us has the energy. At least not right now.

But, I’m not sure how much longer I can pretend that everything is OK.

(Picture: Liberty Antonia Sadler for Metro.co.uk)

Bernard, 39, Newcastle, works in hospitality

My wife had an affair.

We have been married for eight wonderful years and never had any issues until this year. Or at least, I didn’t think we did.

A few weeks ago, I found out that she was having an affair with one of her old work colleagues. She said it didn’t mean anything, apologised and told me she wanted to get back to being ‘us’.

In my opinion, we’d never stopped being ‘us’.

I’m very confused, and I don’t know if I can forgive her. The situation is very raw at the moment.

Knowing that she lied is almost as much of an issue as the infidelity itself; we’ve always been very honest with each other.

Angela, 52, Sheffield, retired

My husband totally neglects me, and just does his own thing.

I have just booked a holiday on my own, as he doesn’t even want to come with me.

I feel extremely lonely, especially as our children are no longer living at home and I don’t have that many close friends in the area.

It’s almost as if I’m sharing my house with a stranger. I’ve considered discussing my feelings with him, but we never seem to talk anymore.

He’s never been particularly good at listening.

Maggie, 43, Leicester, stay-at-home mum

We have complete contempt for one another and we’re constantly arguing.

I haven’t shared a bedroom with my husband, let alone a bed, for the last year.

He lies about meaningless things and often acts as if he thinks I’m stupid. We also have two children, currently in their teens, and this atmosphere isn’t good for them.

I’ve threatened him with divorce in arguments, but I’m not sure I’d go through with it.

As a stay-at-home mum, I’ve become somewhat reliant on him financially –  he’s the sole bread winner. I do have some savings, but a divorce would be a big thing to follow through with.

(Picture: Liberty Antonia Sadler for Metro.co.uk)

Alex, 34, Nottingham, works in the legal industry

We used to have such a great sex life.

But now, if I don’t initiate sex, it simply doesn’t happen – there is no intimacy or affection left in our marriage.

My wife and I met at university, and couldn’t keep our hands off each other for the first few years. When we got married, five years ago, the physical side of things started to slow down.

We relocated to Nottingham shortly after our wedding, to be near her parents. The pressure of starting new jobs in a new area, probably didn’t help the situation either.

I do sometimes think we’d be happier if we weren’t together.

Petra, 24, Bristol, works in marketing

My husband is an emotionally abusive alcoholic.

After four years of being together, I feel like I’m about to snap and tell him that I want a divorce.

I’m worried about how he will react, because he’s always been the jealous type and regularly accuses me of acting inappropriately with other men.

His family doesn’t help, either. They are completely against me, and back him up every time we have an argument.

They fall for his sob stories every time and I’m sick of it.

Michael, 26, Leeds, personal trainer

I love my wife so much, but all I want is for this nightmare to be over.

She has admitted that she is attracted to other men, and is interested in pursuing an open marriage. When I told her I wouldn’t be comfortable with it, she didn’t seem particularly concerned about my feelings.

If I find out that she’s cheated on me, I will be absolutely heartbroken. I’m starting to believe that is what’s happened.

I’m struggling to decide what to do next. I’m also worried about how this situation will affect our child.

Andrew, 32, York, works in digital marketing

I met my wife while travelling in America.

We had a whirlwind romance, moved back to the UK and were married and living together within a year of meeting each other.

Recently, things have changed.

I can’t put my finger on it, but she’s not the same person I fell in love with.

Also, it doesn’t help that I might have a crush on one of my female friends – I can’t stop thinking about her.

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